No one told me this would happen...

I didn't want to say anything about this until I had an answer. Getting older and all that goes with it is more than I expected, but I do deal with extra issues to complicate life. And stress can bring about a nasty crash.

This past month, life piled on one thing after another until I crashed. Not fun! It took me two weeks of daily massive, almost debilitating fatigue, migraines with vision issues, dizzy spells, and brain fog before I started supplements that made a difference. I'm still recovering, but the body can't take stress like it did even five years ago. I'm over fifty and I feel it. It slowed my progress on Book 22, but I did finish it to my satisfaction. It turned out great, despite the setbacks!

Since I've been recovering from the crash and feeling better again, I am finishing up a read-through of Book 22 and, this weekend, will start the first editing round on Book 20. FINALLY! Better late than never, but I do have legitimate reasons for the delay. Fortunately, the struggles I deal with often work to the benefit of the story. While I would appreciate good days all the time, the bad days force delays that seem to give my mind time to reconsider ideas that need less editing, instead of excitedly rushing through the first idea that comes to mind and needing major rewrites.

So, to be honest with readers, I have my struggles, but in the scattered periods I've felt clear-headed and had time and energy while recovering from the crash, I was able to get work done on the Forgotten Worlds series. It is progressing. I refuse to quit! I want to know how this ends and will not throw in the towel (like some big name authors who shall not be named). (I know how this ends, but the specific details aren't known to me until I write the actual scenes, so there are still surprises for me and I want the pleasure of discovering those.) It might take me a bit longer than I want to get there, but I am a fighter and determined to finish this series, no matter what it takes.

Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of
physical or mental energy that a person has available
for daily activities and tasks, and how it can become
limited. The term was coined in a 2003 essay by
American writer Christine Miserandino.

And I'm still going through with my other plans, especially since I've come to a new understanding of my limitations; and, no, it's not in my head--I have chronic illnesses (over ten years) but have to occasionally learn new ways to manage them through life changes so I can continue to enjoy doing what I love. (For reference, look up spoon theory.) It also helps to have a great day job boss who is understanding and flexible.

The new project is something that will only demand periodic spurts of my time once it's set up and running, so perfect for me to manage. I wish I could announce it now, but it's in the very early stages. I just can't keep it to myself completely. When it's ready, I'll make a big announcement here. For now, stay tuned!

Offer it up to God: These issues I've lived with for many years were the best thing to happen to me, and I can imagine the look on your face while you read that because I've seen it when I tell people in person. The health issues transformed my life. They gave me a new perspective on appreciating the life God gave me and forced me to rely on God, where I, in my ignorant hubris, used to think I had control. It was a process, but I now have a much closer relationship to Jesus by aligning my suffering to His. I've learned to more fully trust in God, who has power over everything. I can only work with what He allows me to have.

 

As a Catholic, I've come to see these as mortifications that He chose for me. I don't have to go looking for them. These health issues are my penance, my offerings for my sins and the sins of others. The best part is knowing that God will transform the offerings of my suffering to pour graces on others, just as Christ's Passion and Crucifixion gave us the grace of redemption. Whether people who receive those graces accept them or not is another matter. All we can do is align our sufferings to that of Our Lord, even the littlest thing. The tiniest inconvenience or suffering is all it takes. It doesn't have to be big health issues.

 

Whenever something comes up, pray something like "I offer this [suffering] to you, Lord, for [whatever grace you want someone specific or a population in general to receive]." It doesn't have to be a long prayer, although I like to use the Fatima Sacrifice Prayer. If you're unsure about the last part, cut it short: "O My Jesus, I offer this for love of Thee, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for sins." The point is to offer one's sufferings and prayers to God and he will transform those into beautiful graces for others as Christ did for all sinners from the beginning to the end of time. It gives one's suffering purpose, accepts God's will over one's life, and is a way to "pay it forward" spiritually.

Thanks for reading, and God bless you and keep you!

--------------

Added 7/26/25 to backup my statement above:

Why Must I Confess My Sins to a Priest? | Understanding the Sacraments (video title)

Feeling off lately? The enemy might be closer than you think. (video title)

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle,

be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,

and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host,

thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits

who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

(prayer by St. Pope Leo XIII)

Exciting updates

I'm finishing up the final details of Book 22. I "finished" the final stinger scene but have a few details that I've thought of adding and just need to figure out how to fit them in so they best fit the story. It's sort of a developmental edit before I put it aside to work on Book 20.

I've also been reading through the earlier books of the series a chapter at a time (while on the treadmill) and am into book 13. SMH... Oy! I hate finding plot holes. I found a big one, sort of. It looks big to me now but I had kind of spackled it over at the time. It doesn't appear so smooth now, though, so I'm working on how to adjust that with as minimal explanation as possible. I think I have the right idea. It doesn't need much, but it needs something. At least it's not a big oops like I found in Book 6.

And for the final three books, I have also been working out those plots. The surprise development that came about at the end of Book 22 gave me a tool for the final book, so I'm keeping that.

Because of the extra attention to details for the final books of this series and wanting to get some of the details down now, I'll be pushing the release of book 20 into August. 

It will be worth the wait when I take my time and plug in the details for the series ending.

Plus I will have some exciting news for readers and authors of indie SFF in the upcoming months. 😁 I'm putting something together that I've wanted to do for at least a couple of years, but the idea was never quite right and needed time to mature. That idea finally blossomed this past month (like my new roses) and everything is coming together. Say prayers that this is God's will to happen, because I'll be investing a lot of my own money to get started (can't quit the day job, not that I was going to, but, well... you get the idea). It has the potential to really grow into a nice little side business, hopefully by the time I finish the Forgotten Worlds series.

Thanks for reading!

And stay tuned for more details to come!

Lukewarmness is the Enemy | Battle Ready with Fr. Dan Reehil (video title)

the end is close

Recently, I was sick (writing delays) and then had an idea for something I had been wanting to do for a few years, but now I have a better plan to make it happen--a small side business that could eventually grow into something more. Those have caused some delay in finishing Book 22 by taking my focus off it.

Anyway, aside from the fact that Book 22 is around 51,500 words and very close to being done, it's not getting quite done. There are some scenes I want to write before finishing this stinger scene. (Yes, the final scene in the works, so VERY close to the end!) I can't quite get myself to finish the stinger scene until I write out some of the other scenes, not all of which will be in Book 22.

Rather, I want to write these scenes related to Book 22 to insert into Book 23 or 24, likely as flashbacks. Book 22 is at the point that there are important details that don't fit into the main plot but would be good to include somewhere. I had an idea like this earlier in the series and by the time I would have implemented it, I no longer had the interest, although the replacement turned out for the better. This is different, however, so I'm not making that mistake again.

I've also been considering the final three books and how I want to set up the action that needs to take place. The final book will be the culmination of all of the series in facing off against the bad guys with some huge revelations and major action. Of course, some revelations about the Paxons and Issan will finally come to light in these last books for the conclusion to be a satisfying ending.

There are some changes yet to come that may or may not be expected, depending on how discerning of a reader one may be, although something in Book 22's ending did surprise me. It fits and is consistent with the canon established in the original Starfire Angels series, although I could just as well cut it out and it never happened. It adds a certain full-circle-ness to one aspect of the series, though.

Anyway, that's where things are. What I write now to use in the last three books is less writing to do then, although that doesn't mean they wouldn't be rewritten. It just means I have something ready to use.

Essentially Book 22 is done, but I'm pre-writing some scenes for the last three books before getting into editing Book 20. I want to get the ending just right.

Thanks for reading.

Understanding the Sacraments: A New Summary! Explaining the Faith (video title)

Never question an internal command to pray...

Yesterday, near the end of the late afternoon mass at the church I attend on weekdays (because of my schedule and I like that they have a communion rail so I can accept Our Lord on my knees in humility and reverence), a darkness fell. It wasn't the lights. Rather, there are big sections of window, and the sun's light had been diminished.

I looked to the window and felt a catch in my chest.

Not again.

Ominous clouds loomed in the sky, blocking the sun. We've had nasty weather two other times already with tornadoes and it was a 100 F day yesterday (not unusual for July, when we usually get the nastiest weather). Seeing dark clouds concerned me.

After mass, I prayed that I made it home before any bad weather hit.

I made it with plenty of time. In fact, the radar showed nothing coming for us, yet I had a sense that I should be praying my Rosary.

I didn't.

I came to regret that.

A severe storm formed out of nowhere on the radar only about 15-20 miles away to the southwest and quickly headed right for us, but I hadn't checked in the time since before it formed to when it hit, so I didn't know it was there, much less barreling towards us. I was trying to write while ignoring that little voice that was nagging me about praying the Rosary. I wanted to do things my way.

I did that until the first "THUNK" hit on the house. And it was loud. A few more hit and I looked out the window to see large white balls of hail. Not the pea-sized we normally see. These were golf-ball sized (as seen in the sampling below with my hand, hail balls which had already melted down a bit).

When I realized what was happening with the hail, I ran upstairs and grabbed my Rosary. No sooner did I start than the hail turned to pea-sized and soon quit. However, there was more red on the radar. I continued through two sets of mysteries because there was another system to the north that refused to move and had been expanding towards us with a tornado watch included in that. The worst of it dissipated during my prayer.

After the storm from the southwest was passed but before the one from the north was known to be a threat, we went out to check the house and yard (between my praying a few decades of the Rosary). Fortunately, the golf balls were few and far between and our garden, trees, and my new roses were all untouched. Unfortunately, they were enough to leave holes in a few pieces of siding on one wall and likely the roof, as well as a couple nice dents to the youngest kid's car roof, but I'm not worried about her vehicle because it's old (2009) and had some cosmetic damage when we bought it two years ago and also because all the windows were fine. After all the nasty storms we've had in the last month, insurance adjusters are busy; they'll get to us when they can.

The picture above was taken after the rain was no more than a few drops here and there but the clouds still loomed over us with a clear sky to the western horizon. I went out and took pictures of the hail and the perfect shot of my first rose blossom. This is now my iPhone wallpaper, minus the watermark:

My first rose blossom of the three rose bushes
I planted less than a month ago!

After I had finished the Rosary prayers, the storm passed and merged with the north storm, but they grew along the western edge and dropped more pea-sized hail on us. No sooner did I start praying a single Hail Mary to ask her intercession to keep any large hail from hitting than the hail stopped altogether and only rain fell.

The moral of the story is to listen to that nagging voice when it's telling you to pray... To put it simply, when you're told to pray, obey. It was likely my guardian angel, and I am humbled by the consequences of not having listened when I should have.

Next time, I won't hesitate to grab my Rosary. I won't question any message from the Lord (who speaks through others, like our guardian angels, who are always with us). I will listen. It reminds me of Moses having to keep his arms up for the success of the battle of the Israelites in Exodus.

God bless!

Rosebuds

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and it's a mixed bag of emotions.

Family matters:

It's been rough for us since Friday evening. My father-in-law (and I love him and my mother-in-law dearly) is dying. Since he was checked into the hospital Friday, he's lasted longer than originally expected, but we know there will be a funeral very soon. I get teary thinking of the situation. I've known my in-laws for nearly twenty-five years; although at that early stage they were only potential in-laws since hubby and I weren't yet even engaged at that point. They accepted me readily and have always been welcoming. FIL was a farmer most of his life and always had a lot of advice about any construction projects for the home or for gardening issues. He loved to woodwork, and we have some of his handy and/or decorative projects, including a paper towel dispenser attached under the kitchen cabinets and stained to match the color perfectly.

It's been difficult and I try to stay busy or I get choked up like the sisters-in-law. It must be a woman thing. Hubby and his brother are keeping it together, although so is my mother-in-law, but she's had a long time to prepare for this. It wasn't unexpected, but it did progress suddenly quite fast.

Writing:

I have been getting writing done and am down to the final two scenes now of the story. Yay! The story came together perfectly with an ending that ties into the opening fun scene but is very serious by the end incident. There's a discovery that will add to understanding the Issan a bit more, and the Inari get more involved, especially since one of the discoveries is an abandoned, hidden Inari outpost similar to Kurtuz but set up so that it has remained undisturbed. It wasn't intended to be abandoned and bears a grim reason.

The book is currently 47K words, so past the point I thought I'd finish. Now, I'm guessing it'll be closer to 50K words in the first draft. The writing is somewhat keeping my mind off of FIL.

Progress is being made towards the final series ending.

Roses:

And just as my FIL is dying, my first rosebud is opening. I don't doubt he would have enjoyed seeing this, being the gardener that he was. I planted three bushes in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Holy Trinity (She is the child of the Father, spouse of the Holy Spirit, and mother of God the Son).

The first plant with buds developed three buds, which is perfect. All three buds are developing and all three plants are taking off with leaves; two plants actually have buds, including the one now blooming. The first one started budding within a week of being transplanted, which is miraculous, but I don't doubt Our Lady of the Rosary had something to do with that.

That's my life right now. I am writing, and it's helping me to take my mind off the death of someone special.

God bless you and your loved ones! Treasure every moment.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Independence Day!

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Corinthians 3:17

This is my single favorite Bible quote. It encompasses everything about the faith and true freedom--from sin, from corruption, from worry about this world. In the Spirit of the Lord is a true sense of freedom like nothing else you can imagine, but it requires obedience to God. The best part is that, when you love God fully, you want to obey every edict He has set-- to please Him--and all of that is upheld in the fullness of the truth. You will only find true freedom by strict obedience and humility to God.

But... Happy U.S. Independence Day! It is still a great worldly cause to be independent of corrupt governments like what America suffered under British rule when it was founded. Many of our country's founders were Christians (read this tidbit about George Washington) and even stated that our Constitution only works in a society based on faith in God. It only fails when we kick God out of society. Those who are disappointed in this country need God more than anyone, which fits perfectly with 2 Corinthians 3:17.

Writing:

In writing updates, I had some setbacks. I really need to quit posting when I get close to finishing. It never fails that something comes up and I can't get into writing the way I should. My stage of life and chronic illnesses love to pull the rug out from my plans, along with other distractions.

Writing slowed right after my last update but in a good spot. I'm at 43K words on Book 22, but the climax got a bit more complicated than I had anticipated. I also wanted to be sure no plot holes or inconsistencies existed, so that meant a bit different action than I was expecting. I'm hoping that only about three or four more scenes are left, and those will be somewhat short as events are wrapping up. Maybe this weekend I can finish so I can go on to editing Book 20 so that can be published soon.

Horse time:

If you think writing is bad, that's nothing compared to my horse. Either we have heat, smoke, or rain for weather OR the weather is perfect but I don't have the time or don't feel good. I made it out to see Buddy recently, after three weeks away. But after nearly ten years together, I called his name and his head lifted and he looked; no other horse looked. He knows the sound of my voice. That makes me think of the gospel quote of Jesus - “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me" The way Buddy responds in hearing my voice, even after some time away, gives me a different perspective of what Our Lord said. That's a discussion for another time, though.

The good thing is that Buddy is at a boarding facility in a pasture with other geldings. He doesn't have any special supplement, health, or training needs. He can be a pasture pet. Besides, someone would say something if he had a problem, but he's a pretty durable, stocky guy with very little athletic ability, which is what I love best about him.

Buddy is perfect for my age. He doesn't buck or rear. At worst, he spooks, but I've learned how to minimize that risk. I give him a calming supplement first thing before I do anything else, so it has time to work into his system. I've learned that a pad that doesn't press on his withers alleviates some tension for him (by giving him more comfort). And I found a sort of horse Tums from Chewy that sooths any stomach issues like ulcers, at least temporarily. Pain will make any horse more sensitive, especially ulcers.

When I was out this past Saturday, I rode him. I hadn't ridden in about two months, but with him, it doesn't matter. He's still just as good as the last time. It had stormed the night before (quite a night with major natural fireworks show, hail, and something like 13 tornadoes that mostly hit in fields and pastures or didn't touch down; we had rotating clouds above our house, but I was praying the Rosary the whole time and nothing hit us or the boarding facility). What rain fell at the boarding facility left the outdoor arenas wet, so I rode in the grass, not going too far down the road. Buddy is most comfortable when he can see his herd or at least horses he knows, and I didn't have anyone else to ride with. It was fun and light.

Hopefully the gaps between don't go as long from this point on, but we'll see how summer goes.

That's it for now.

Have a wonderful July 4 holiday, U.S.A.!

How I Was Stunned by Scripture | John Bergsma (video title)

The below fits with the above quite well: