I've had a lot on my mind lately, and it's a mixed bag of emotions.
Family matters:
It's been rough for us since Friday evening. My father-in-law (and I love him and my mother-in-law dearly) is dying. Since he was checked into the hospital Friday, he's lasted longer than originally expected, but we know there will be a funeral very soon. I get teary thinking of the situation. I've known my in-laws for nearly twenty-five years; although at that early stage they were only potential in-laws since hubby and I weren't yet even engaged at that point. They accepted me readily and have always been welcoming. FIL was a farmer most of his life and always had a lot of advice about any construction projects for the home or for gardening issues. He loved to woodwork, and we have some of his handy and/or decorative projects, including a paper towel dispenser attached under the kitchen cabinets and stained to match the color perfectly.
It's been difficult and I try to stay busy or I get choked up like the sisters-in-law. It must be a woman thing. Hubby and his brother are keeping it together, although so is my mother-in-law, but she's had a long time to prepare for this. It wasn't unexpected, but it did progress suddenly quite fast.
Writing:
I have been getting writing done and am down to the final two scenes now of the story. Yay! The story came together perfectly with an ending that ties into the opening fun scene but is very serious by the end incident. There's a discovery that will add to understanding the Issan a bit more, and the Inari get more involved, especially since one of the discoveries is an abandoned, hidden Inari outpost similar to Kurtuz but set up so that it has remained undisturbed. It wasn't intended to be abandoned and bears a grim reason.
The book is currently 47K words, so past the point I thought I'd finish. Now, I'm guessing it'll be closer to 50K words in the first draft. The writing is somewhat keeping my mind off of FIL.
Progress is being made towards the final series ending.
Roses:
And just as my FIL is dying, my first rosebud is opening. I don't doubt he would have enjoyed seeing this, being the gardener that he was. I planted three bushes in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Holy Trinity (She is the child of the Father, spouse of the Holy Spirit, and mother of God the Son).
The first plant with buds developed three buds, which is perfect. All three buds are developing and all three plants are taking off with leaves; two plants actually have buds, including the one now blooming. The first one started budding within a week of being transplanted, which is miraculous, but I don't doubt Our Lady of the Rosary had something to do with that.
That's my life right now. I am writing, and it's helping me to take my mind off the death of someone special.
God bless you and your loved ones! Treasure every moment.
"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Corinthians 3:17
This is my single favorite Bible quote. It encompasses everything about the faith and true freedom--from sin, from corruption, from worry about this world. In the Spirit of the Lord is a true sense of freedom like nothing else you can imagine, but it requires obedience to God. The best part is that, when you love God fully, you want to obey every edict He has set-- to please Him--and all of that is upheld in the fullness of the truth. You will only find true freedom by strict obedience and humility to God.
But... Happy U.S. Independence Day! It is still a great worldly cause to be independent of corrupt governments like what America suffered under British rule when it was founded. Many of our country's founders were Christians (read this tidbit about George Washington) and even stated that our Constitution only works in a society based on faith in God. It only fails when we kick God out of society. Those who are disappointed in this country need God more than anyone, which fits perfectly with 2 Corinthians 3:17.
Writing:
In writing updates, I had some setbacks. I really need to quit posting when I get close to finishing. It never fails that something comes up and I can't get into writing the way I should. My stage of life and chronic illnesses love to pull the rug out from my plans, along with other distractions.
Writing slowed right after my last update but in a good spot. I'm at 43K words on Book 22, but the climax got a bit more complicated than I had anticipated. I also wanted to be sure no plot holes or inconsistencies existed, so that meant a bit different action than I was expecting. I'm hoping that only about three or four more scenes are left, and those will be somewhat short as events are wrapping up. Maybe this weekend I can finish so I can go on to editing Book 20 so that can be published soon.
Horse time:
If you think writing is bad, that's nothing compared to my horse. Either we have heat, smoke, or rain for weather OR the weather is perfect but I don't have the time or don't feel good. I made it out to see Buddy recently, after three weeks away. But after nearly ten years together, I called his name and his head lifted and he looked; no other horse looked. He knows the sound of my voice. That makes me think of the gospel quote of Jesus - “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me" The way Buddy responds in hearing my voice, even after some time away, gives me a different perspective of what Our Lord said. That's a discussion for another time, though.
The good thing is that Buddy is at a boarding facility in a pasture with other geldings. He doesn't have any special supplement, health, or training needs. He can be a pasture pet. Besides, someone would say something if he had a problem, but he's a pretty durable, stocky guy with very little athletic ability, which is what I love best about him.
Buddy is perfect for my age. He doesn't buck or rear. At worst, he spooks, but I've learned how to minimize that risk. I give him a calming supplement first thing before I do anything else, so it has time to work into his system. I've learned that a pad that doesn't press on his withers alleviates some tension for him (by giving him more comfort). And I found a sort of horse Tums from Chewy that sooths any stomach issues like ulcers, at least temporarily. Pain will make any horse more sensitive, especially ulcers.
When I was out this past Saturday, I rode him. I hadn't ridden in about two months, but with him, it doesn't matter. He's still just as good as the last time. It had stormed the night before (quite a night with major natural fireworks show, hail, and something like 13 tornadoes that mostly hit in fields and pastures or didn't touch down; we had rotating clouds above our house, but I was praying the Rosary the whole time and nothing hit us or the boarding facility). What rain fell at the boarding facility left the outdoor arenas wet, so I rode in the grass, not going too far down the road. Buddy is most comfortable when he can see his herd or at least horses he knows, and I didn't have anyone else to ride with. It was fun and light.
Hopefully the gaps between don't go as long from this point on, but we'll see how summer goes.
After watching the video, if you decide to try the Rosary, Our Lady's Psalter, the USCCB has the format here.
I've found that St. Louis de Montfort's 1st method takes one much deeper into the meditation of the life of Our Lord and His Mother and into developing the virtues they demonstrated in full. You can find it online here or in The Secret of the Rosary.
I am at the climax and have just a couple of chapters to go, maybe 5K words max. It's currently at 40K, the minimum for novel length, so this is perfect. It will be right in the target length that I set for these books. Some have grown longer, but most are around 45-50K words in length.
This is just the first draft, so the word count will change a bit, and I'm guesstimating on the final word count of the first draft as it is. If I can get 1000 words/day in for the rest of the month, I'll be right around hitting my goal of finishing by the end of June. Then, I'll jump into editing Book 20, DARKEST DEPTHS and aim to publish that by the end of July, a bit over four months after Book 19 was released.
I've had some issues with writing Book 22, but those were resolved with amazing insights. It turned into another great addition to this series, although I notice L'NI kind of taking over. It makes sense, given his involvement with Nya and his past as one of the enemy, but Nya kind of took a side seat to his presence. She still gets her main story, however.
After I finish this book, the work will only get more difficult--putting it all together for a series finale that makes the wait and dedication to reading it all completely satisfying. The final three books will be the toughest to plan out and write. I know the ending. I just am not quite sure of the details to get there, but that's not unusual. I'll figure it out.
It's been quite a journey writing this series and even more fun re-reading it all, but in another year or a bit more (depending on the lengths of the final three books and the planning and issues that might come up in the first drafts), I'll be done with writing Starfire Angels: Forgotten Worlds. The final few books will see plenty of editing before they're ready. With Book 25, it's done, and I have the title for that. The two before that, I don't know yet.
I can't believe I'm so close to finishing. This has been a HUGE project for me. When I started writing, I never planned a series, and certainly never one like this; but readers asked for more in the Starfire Angels universe, and I loved what I had created, so I continued with it. It has become something I never would have thought possible but a project that I've loved for over seventeen years so far, since the first spark hit me for an angel story like none other at the time. By the time I'm done, it'll be a good chunk of my life devoted to this universe.
Lastly, and back to the update, I want to see if I can do something better for the cover image of Book 22. The more I look at it, the less happy I am with how that image turned out. The general theme is good, but the overall style of the ruins, not so much.
So, that's what's coming up. I'm excited to finish this and present Book 20 to you when it's ready.
I was stuck, stuck, STUCK! As if I'd fallen into quicksand and was only sinking further. The more I tried to walk through it, the deeper I sank.
I could not do a thing of what I had expected... for a week! My mind was completely at a halt. And I had been doing so well with the writing on Book 22 up to that point.
A couple of days ago, I finally escaped.
I realized I needed a different POV scene. I kind of knew, but I didn't know how.
The answer only came after lots of prayer and my scheduled adoration time. I had been so completely blocked in writing that I said to the Lord (interiorly) in front of the Blessed Sacrament--paraphrasing--if you want me to write this to serve you, I need you to make it clear that it's your will, not just mine. (I know that anything promoting sin (i.e. deeply romantic or sexy scenes or gratuitous violence, occult, etc.) does not come from the Lord, so I do exercise discernment.)
He came through and showed me a glimpse at that time of the way out of the mire into which I had fallen. The next time I sat to write, the scene I needed just flowed out onto the document effortlessly, by the grace of God. It was an antagonist POV that added a layer to the story that I hadn't even considered!
Eucharistic adoration isn't where I go for writing ideas. It's where I've had wonderful encounters with Jesus, my guardian angel, and the Holy Spirit; but I'll take writing inspiration, if that's what He wants to give me. Generally, I'm there just to be with Jesus Christ, our Lord, in the Holy Eucharist exposed in a monstrance, and I pray for others; and sometimes He provides insights that completely blow me away. And when I bring a trouble like this to Him, and it's the right time, He gives me something I want.
Anyway, I'm happy to report that the 35K I have written on Book 22 is moving along again after a week of a complete block.
ps--All the rose shrubs are in; we planted the last one this morning. After a night of storms that downed tree limbs in the area (and some whole trees completely uprooted in town), two tornadoes in the east that took lives, hurricane-force winds, thousands without power in the north, etc., they're doing well and one is really leafing out already; the company cuts them down and takes off all the leaves for shipping and they're already growing. Also, I was praying my Rosary and the chaplet of St. Michael through the storm; and we had, at worst, some strong wind, but the corn will recover from that. As for the roses, we didn't kill them--yay! We'll see how they look in a month. I can't wait to see blossoms. 😊
I finally have asparagus! It seems to be hard to start from seeds, so this year, I bought crowns from Gurney's and nine out of the ten are growing in my garden. (Strawberries are growing like weeds this year. I'm getting a handful of fresh strawberries every day now! I don't even want to mention the rhubarb; those plants are like weeds too. I need to harvest again already (3 weeks and probably a week overdue) before we get aphids like last year.)
Since I managed that, I chose my next challenge (after watching a talk by Monsignor Rossetti, whose mention of the Blessed Virgin Mary being shown with roses (hence, the Rosary) inspired me).... ROSES! In my devotion to Our Lady of the Rosary and because it's perfect for an area near the house that gets lots of sun and has been an eyesore of nothing, I decided to try growing roses as my next project.
Now, we live in zone 4 for growing, so finding the right plants can sometimes limit us, but I found a beautiful variety from Heirloom Roses called Prairie Harvest. It's a faintly yellow color that would look perfect next to our green siding. This shrub rose is supposed to endure winter, so I hope the money I spent and the time that we'll put into establishing them will be worth it.
This is a new challenge, but I'm up to it. I only hope the plants are too, because a full bloom of rose bushes would look beautiful near the house where there is nothing else to see on that side, which faces the road when you approach our house. So, it needed something more than the trellis with the grapes, which is about twenty feet away.
I will testify that nothing brings you close to Jesus like devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She is the perfect example of what we should be as a child of God (and she was also the spouse of God, the Holy Spirit, and the Mother of God the Son.)
I'm not going to go into all the reasons. There are excellent books to explain these in greater detail than I can here. (Behold Your Mother is one of those.)
Know that if you have hate in your heart for the MOTHER OF GOD, you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God, who is love. If you hate anyone, you don't have the Holy Spirit. Hate is not of God but, rather, of Satan. God wants us to even love our enemies, so even more so His mother.
If you want to grow in love for Jesus, no one will teach you better than His mother, and the fastest way to discover that is the daily Rosary. (For help in thaat, I highly recommend The Secret of the Rosary and True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort.)
As others devotees of the Rosary have said, once you start praying a daily Rosary, you'll be changed. Either you'll give up sin and vice or you'll give up the Rosary to remain in your sin. The Blessed Virgin Mary will show you how to love God more fully. She will transform you, preparing you to be worthy of uniting with Jesus Christ, her son, Our Lord, the King of Heaven and Earth, the Word of God who was made flesh in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary through the Holy Spirit. I won't get into how Biblical the Rosary is here, since you can learn that in the links under the Marian Devotion section of my Faith Resources tab on this blog.
Ever since I first saw Fr. Dan Reehil in his interview with Michael Knowles, I found more of him. I wasn't sure of him at first, but after learning his story of reverting to the Catholic faith that he left for a "successful" life and his story of going on to become a priest--an exorcist priest--I've been hooked on what he has to say. His homilies are direct and insightful. As a former Wall Street banker, he doesn't beat around the bush and can seem abrasive at times, but he doesn't mince words. He tells it like it is, which is what keeps me listening (like other exorcist priests online--they're not soft on the message of getting souls to heaven).
Both his homilies and his Battle Ready program on Radio Maria (available in video like this, and also on the RM website, and on podcast services like Apple Podcasts) are worth listening to regularly.
Summer is here. It came pretty fast, but everything goes faster as you get older.
Horsing around again
Life and weather, and dangerous smoke from Canadian wildfires (last weekend was awful!)... combined to keep me from seeing my horse for longer than I would have liked. Yesterday, I finally went to see him again. He's in a pasture at the boarding facility, has fresh water and friends and gets checked on, so I don't have to worry. He's a tough boy and knows how to cope.
I trimmed his hooves, which were just starting to get long but not terrible and had no chipping or cracking yet. The big issue was a bunch of ticks under his anus (and, I suspect, the same with other pasture horses who were rubbing and rubbing to no relief). My poor guy was miserably irritated by a cluster of ticks. They are terrible this year! I doused them and the rest of him in a strong bug repellant before trimming his hooves and managed to find someone who wasn't squeamish about ticks to pull them all off. Buddy was so relieved afterwards and almost fell asleep with no more flies or ticks irritating him. He enjoyed the process of having the ticks removed too; his expressions through it were hilarious. 🤣
I didn't ride him. I knew I'd be sore after trimming hooves, and riding after that long would only compound my soreness. I started feeling it last night and still feel achy today. I gave Buddy treats, love, and a hoof trimming. He enjoyed that. No work. He's a pasture pet, but he enjoys it and is good when I do get on. Since I'm not competing, we can take it easy. I hope to get out more regularly, but then stuff happens, some of it the same stuff that interferes with my writing.
Cats and crystals
I thought only male cats had issues with bladder crystals.
Nope.
We noticed our old girl (13 years) had bloody urine. Our oldest cat (male) as a kitten did that and had to be put on a special diet for a while, then grew out of it before developing other issues that required him to be on an even more restrictive diet. Boy cats have narrow urethras and are more prone to crystal issues. But female cats can have urinary crystal problems too. I didn't expect that. They just don't have the same trouble with blocked urethras that boys do. A blocked urethra happened to the other old boy (third oldest) several years ago, and he would yowl while in the litterbox and continually lick his sheath area. That clued us in then that he also had crystal issues, but he was already in later maturity when it became an issue for him.
Now, we have three cats who have to be on special food. Only the newest is free to eat anything... so far.
The good news is that our girl, for as old as she is, has healthy kidneys and no infection. None of our kitties are diabetic. They may not like the special foods for their issues, but they're healthier and happier than the alternative. A day after switching to the special foods given to the old boys, she was already getting back to being her chipper self (*sarcastically speaking* - she has tortitude in full!). She was playing again, instead of grumping around in pain. I expect this will clear up quickly for her.
We only knew she was having issues because of a couple of times that she urinated outside the litterbox and it was bloody. It was difficult to confirm which cat it was initially because we have four, but the boys have never gone outside the litterbox. Still, we had to wait until we could observe it so we wouldn't be paying for multiple cats to unnecessarily be taken to the vet.
We caught it and only had to change her diet. She's already doing better, so yay!
Light and Shadows
That is the title I'm sticking with on Book 22 of Forgotten Worlds. The word count is around 30K now and I'm hoping to finish by the end of the month, but that only holds up if life doesn't get in the way.
I still need to figure out a cover, but I know what would work. I just have to find the right image, or multiple images and compile it. It may take some Photoshop work to get something more representative of this story.
Print Books
Since I read through Forgotten Worlds books 1-10, I fixed some things that I couldn't leave alone. (Book 6 was a mess, like the final edits didn't save or got overwritten until this update. I'm still beside myself since discovering that in the read-through this past year because the bad version was the one that had been available for a few years.)
I love reading my books, but I always see something to tweak. I started reading as a refresher and knew there would be some fixes. Updates have been uploaded for the individual ebooks. I just need to update the print files. I have the print collections for this series unavailable until the updates are ready. It hasn't been a big priority, since print doesn't usually sell for me, and I hate formatting those.
It's something I do plan to finish this summer, at least for Collections 1 and 2 of Starfire Angels: Forgotten Worlds. I'm still working my way through books 11-15 when I have time. Once those are done, I'll re-release Collection 3 as well.
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That's all for now. I'll post more when I have updates, like a book cover.
Now that the grad party has been over for a while, as of two days after my last writing update, I've been making decent progress again on Book 22. Currently, I have just under 23K words, so around halfway done. Based on my last update, I've added around 7K words in twelve days, so between 500-1000 words/day. Aside from writing, a lot of what I've done was resolving the details of the plot. I had to figure out the exact premise of the threat in this before I could really go on.
I also think I have a title for it and started work today to try to find an appropriate cover, although that's not going so well. I am leaning towards a title of LIGHT AND SHADOWS.
As a summary (not the official description), a lot of pieces are coming together in this with the Paxons and the forces preparing to attack the Issan installations. Nya is nearly done with her mission, but a report has reached her of a possible treasure of the angels and they investigate. What they find is a grim mystery, and the Paxons want to share in whatever is found. Tensions mount when L'Ni leads the expedition in a joint venture with the Paxons and members begin to experience hallucinations and lose contact with their ships. When members of the team begin to lose their minds, L'Ni must work quickly to learn whatever killed those on the world before history is repeated and the treasure of the angels is lost.
This is just a preliminary summary of what I have planned for this book. The story is one of an insidious psychosis that builds from a seemingly innocuous start into something terrifying. In a way, this one will be a psychological thriller with a bit of horror premise. It's one more plot variation in this series. No two books are alike, which is what has kept me going. Trying new types of stories within the canon of this universe I've created has been an interesting challenge that has been especially satisfying for me. (The most recent release, ALL THE KING'S MEN, was a medieval fantasy type plot, for example.)
I need to figure out the cover yet for this, but for now, you have an idea of the plot I'm working on.
Two for two. That's a pretty amazing statement as a mom.
Two kids. Two Valedictorians. (Although one of many in each of their respective classes, anyone with a 4.0+ GPA.)
The youngest graduates tomorrow. Technically, she's already done. She's also 2/3 done with an associates degree from the local college, because of her many dual-credit courses during high school, and she has a free year coming up thanks to scholarships. She'll be completing her associates degree in the next year. After that, she'll go on to her bachelor's degree, which is a 2-3 year remaining educational journey. Kids have so many opportunities these days that my generation and those before me didn't have.
When hubby and I were dating, my youngest sister, knowing my school record (honor roll but not valedictorian, back when there was only one per class), blessed us by saying, "You two are going to have smart kids!" How very prescient of her, over twenty-four years ago.
A week ago, we held the grad party in our garage. Tomorrow, all three public high schools in town have graduation.
So, I had been pretty busy getting things together while trying to write over this past month, and the prep work also stole some of my attention from writing. Some of the stuff (buying decorations, designing the banner, designing announcements and then sending them out) had been done for a while, but the stress of the week or two before the grad party was wearing on me. I'm used to organizing events, but this was my own child, so I didn't want to forget anything, despite the simplicity of it.
After tomorrow, it's all done.
But aside from the proud mom moment, I want to say that it's not natural intelligence that is the reason for such achievements. It came down to hard work and dedication by each of my kids. I wasn't a perfect A student when I was in high school, but I wanted to be; I had to work for it, and I made sure my kids knew how to work hard and have the self-discipline to do well. You can have all the intelligence in the world, but if you don't have the discipline to do the work required, it all means nothing. Sacrifice and hard work contribute as much as intelligence and can even make up for a lack in that area.
You have to do some work that you may not like in order to succeed in life. We taught our kids that lesson when they were young, starting with assigning chores to earn privileges and rewards. That carried over throughout their young lives at home and in school and hopefully will continue into adulthood. It was the best thing we could have done for our kids. We know what we did right, the same things many parents do right for their kids.
Angel Studios is off and running with some good entertainment. This movie releases this weekend and I'd like to see it. I trust that I wouldn't have to worry about vulgarity and indecency. Not only did I grow up with rodeo (farm girl) but the premise of this story (fiction, not based on real life) is solid and very possible. And I like Neal McDonough, as a man of faith and as an actor (Captain America, Arrow (CW series), Yellowstone, and other credits).
(Note: This is just one piece of the full conversation. So far, they have been posted in pieces by topic, but this is probably the most interesting to anyone interested not just in faith and religion but even in research for urban fantasy.)
While working on some tedious tasks at the day job, I regularly listen to YouTube videos.
However, the ads on the app have been filthy and disgusting. I didn't know what to do (I have custom ads off--I loathe tracking and don't trust this company). They've only been showing me sexual images (massively immodest images of women and drugs for men--you get the idea).
This morning, I got fed up while scrolling content and seeing these ads in my feed, which has become mostly Catholic videos. In that moment of annoyance, I silently prayed to not see the sexual ads, a prayer to banish the demons of lust and sexual perversion (as suggested by exorcists).
I should have done that sooner.
Voila!
No more sexually perverse ads. Suddenly it was all real estate and household products. I didn't change any setting. (edit: I forgot to mention that one of the ads changed right in front of me on the screen. How's that for amazing?!)
All glory to God! He made everything and controls everything. He can do whatever He wants. When we seek to grow in the virtues and avoid sin and vice, He loves that from us because it is how we show we love Him.
(According to exorcists, we have authority over our belongings, so demons have to listen (they are literally lawyers from hell!); however, if one is in a state of mortal sin, the demons have ownership over the soul, so such prayers may not be effective in ridding demons of lust, greed, gluttony, envy, etc. After the initial baptism, detaching of demons and forgiveness of mortal sins only comes from the confessional, which reconciles one with God through the priest in persona Christi. It is the hardest, most humiliating sacrament to present yourself before Christ in the earthly presence of the priest with true contrition, but such a great cleansing of the soul! Once we're out of mortal sin, all those demons are detached from us and we then have full authority to banish them from ourselves and our belongings.)
Every morning, I pray the little prayer suggested by Fr. Dan Reehil, which he learned from another priest, and it's the neatest thing, producing incidents like this. It's the Permission Prayer and is simply this:
Lord, I give you permission today to use me in any way you desire, and I ask you to give me the grace to see your hand in action so I can give you all the glory.
God did. I saw it. I shared it. I give God glory for these amazing graces and demonstrations of His power (like the previous story about spiritual warfare and the cell phone in the confessional), which leave me in awe and wonder. It doesn't happen every day, but it has been happening a LOT since I started offering that little prayer every morning.
Incredible stuff!
God bless!
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5/20/25 Edit: adding these to emphasize the point on confession:
Book 22 had some delays from me stumbling to figure out some pieces of the plot, but that has been a good thing. As I'm trying to finish the reveals of some details I want in the series before the big finale, it's getting a bit more complicated to work those into the plots I wanted to use. I no longer get to make up new stuff to set as cannon as I did early in the series; although I had some established cannon from the previous series of the Starfire Angels universe, that was fairly easy to remember. In this case, it's a new setting and situation, so I was having fun discovering new worldbuilding (cultures, technologies, economic systems, etc.) and now have to worry about not breaking cannon. So, more complicated. It's not the end of the world, though.
Reading through the series has been helping (and I found a few things that required corrections). Generally, however, my system of writing two books ahead of what will be published has been a great system for avoiding issues.
Still, I occasionally deal with writer's block, which really just means the subconscious is aware of a problem that the conscious mind hasn't yet identified. Something wasn't working in this, but I didn't have the plot fully outlined. I knew what I wanted to reveal in Book 22 and a general situation idea, but wasn't sure how that was going to happen. So, writer's block set in. I wasn't totally not writing, but it was slow, and had me tweaking what I had written, until things started to take shape. The last few days, the writing has been taking off again as ideas have been coming. The big issues was that I had to let go of thinking things had to be one way in order to let them go the way they needed to go.
Writer's block isn't bad if you give yourself time to analyze the situation in the story and see it from a new angle. My stumbling around a bit on this gave the right idea a chance to come out when the time was right. Instead of forcing a square peg in a round hole, the square peg gets reshaped to fit into the round hole.
The word count on Book 22 is at 16K, or a bit over a third of my final goal. I'm behind where I'd like to be, but I won't force the word count on a bad idea.
Spiritual warfare comes in different forms and comes and goes to different degrees, but for me recently, it took an interesting twist. But I'm not afraid. In fact, I'm glad it happened. Keep reading to learn why...
Let me go back and start with a little explanation... Right after Divine Mercy Sunday the spiritual attacks hit at their worst and continued so that I questioned if it would ever quit.
I had a difficult week battling this latest round. It shortened my temper, caused massive depression, and battered my resistance. It was so bad at times that I would completely surrender to God and find some relief just when I thought I would completely succumb. It's an amazing feeling when God does that. Jesus gives us a respite from the burden, but I was also offering up the suffering as my cross.
God never gives us more than we can handle. It's how we handle things that matter. Lean on Him. When you really can't take the beating any more, give the suffering completely to Jesus. It is incredible to have that faith--He always gives more back to us when we completely trust in Him.
But this attack continued after I'd had some temporary relief. The demons kept trying to make me hate God and give up prayer and going to mass to receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. It was so hard to fight that discouragement they dumped on me.
Then I had the thought to pray the St. Michael* chaplet. I barely started the chaplet and the burden lifted. I finished the full chaplet feeling peace again.
The next day, I had a slip of the tongue that sent me to confession. I also had a couple of little defects, or maybe venial sins at the worst, that I mentioned but had accredited those to the spiritual attack I had been dealing with. No sooner did I say this than my phone rang in the confessional.
It's not supposed to do that. It has never done that. Since I bought my iPhone 16 Pro six months earlier, I set Do Not Disturb to automatically come on at the locations of the churches I attend. It's always worked. In fact, even tonight, the setting was confirmed to be working--I had a call during mass and the phone never rang, just like normal on the DND setting.
Back to the confesion... Puzzled and embarrassed in the confessional, I said to the priest, "I'm sorry. It's supposed to be off." (I meant DND but was too flustered to think clearly and thought only that the ringer should have been off while I was there.) I said this while hurrying to hit the down volume button to silence the phone, but it took more than once. (I found out why later.) I barely looked at the phone. I wanted to finish so others could take advantage of the half hour that's available for weekday confessions at that church. I finished and received what I needed from the priest, thanked him, and left. I checked my phone outside the confessional, and it was on Do Not Disturb, which comes on as far out as the parking lot as soon as I leave my vehicle to walk across the lot (even the far end of the lot) to the church (switching from "Driving", which doesn't allow text or call notifications, to regular DND, which does the same thing when not driving). It has a wide radius.
Later that evening, when I was home after mass, I looked more closely at my phone and realized I had the confirmation that I was right about the spiritual attacks. That's no coincidence, and it tells me why my first press of the volume button didn't immediately stop the ringing. There were two back-to-back calls from the same number with 666 as the prefix and I had to turn off the phone twice, so it wasn't a case of the setting of allowing repeat calls when both calls rang my phone. No other spammer has ever done that to me.
No call should have rung my phone at the church. On top of that, add the particular number while I was at the church, of all places, and, most notably, in the confessional AND that it happened as I mentioned feeling that I had been under spiritual attack... Yeah, no. To all the Catholic haters out there, even you have to admit that's suspicious. iPhones don't fail like that.
God can do anything, and this was actually a grace of confirming that what I experienced was true. Demons can affect electronics. Exorcists tell stories of things like this happening. In fact, the producers or directors (I can't remember their role) of Nefarious, had an exorcist perform a location exorcism and blessing before their equipment would work right during filming. Exorcists I listen to have told stories about vulgar texts or calls after sessions, usually from a triple six number.
So, now I have my own story to tell. I'm not afraid. In fact, I'm grateful, because I have evidence and experience and because these struggles strengthen my faith and my prayer life. I'm also grateful, because spiritual attacks are a way of testing us to help us grow in faith and devotion to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As some of my favorite online priests have said, if you're not being tested, that's not necessarily a good thing. Our faith stagnates if it's never tested. Like muscles, it needs resistance to strengthen. I'm grateful God gives me these, so I can grow stronger in my faith.
ps--I blocked the number before taking a screenshot. (A free phone lookup tracked the number to a real person, but I suspect a spammer spoofed it like all the other spam calls I get regularly. Still, the timing is uncanny, as is the fact that it went through when it should not have. There are no coincidences. It is divine providence that things like this happen. God uses whatever He wants to deliver his messages.)
God bless!
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* Note that St. Michael was the archangel tasked by God with sending Satan into hell. The chaplet of St. Michael invokes the nine choirs of angels to help us. St. Michael is one of our greatest allies in heaven.
A good start to the story always has strong tension.
I would define tension in a story as words or actions that create an expectation that something will happen. It produces in the audience the need to know what comes next. It comes in different levels with multiple issues throughout a book.
This past week, book 22's opening was holding me up from writing past a certain point because it needed more tension. I had some tension in the story that started great but quickly faded so it wasn't enough for my expectations.
This is why in some of the books of Forgotten Worlds I start at a pre-climactic point and then go back (or back and forth) in the timeline to (usually a slow point) where the decision was made to start the characters down the path that led to that point, then the story reaches that opening scene and continues into the climax and denouement. In those cases, such story structures create two questions--how did this happen and how will the characters resolve it? This creates a strong tension immediately where it wouldn't have existed in a linear timeline. This can be confusing for the reader, but if done right works very well (such as adding a time stamp at each new scene or break so the audience knows where in the story the scene takes place).
This technique is a bit different than simple flashbacks. It incorporates flashbacks heavily but focuses on an earlier timeline to bring the story from a quiet beginning into the conflict of the present timeline. It is a true in media res start to a story; but to understand the progress, the audience needs to know the backstory to that point too and gets it in pieces as flashbacks at key points in the present timeline. I've liked it in many SF shows and sought to use it in writing some of these books. I don't like to use it all the time, or it loses its luster and becomes a crutch instead of a novelty; but I have used it in a handful of the books. (I'm expecting that Book 21 is the last book in this series to use that structure, and that one is all over the place, because it uses scenes from previous books in the series amid the structure of flashbacks explaining how L'Ni designed his plan.)
Most of the Forgotten Worlds stories have linear, normal flowing plots that open at the true beginning with some degree of flashbacks that aren't directly in the timeline of that particular story plot or other sequences (from the Starfire memories, a different type of flashback). In these stories, I need more standard writing techniques. That means a way to get reader's attention. Not every story needs to begin with a big conflict or risk of death. That gets to be too cliche. My goal is to keep the series moving while having some fun with the characters in any way I can but to introduce tension as early as I can.
By this point in the series, the readers know my style and the characters and series plot. I decided I could let my hair down a bit with the opening of Book 22... or it seems that way. I had some fun with the conflict that comes into play and the setup for the story. It creates tension, just not the life or death type that I have in many of the book openings. I hate slow stories, but other pieces of the lives of the character than fighting the bad guys all the time have developed.
The problem I had with the first few chapters was that the tension wasn't adequate for my tastes. It sputtered out. The rule I discovered in reading SF thriller books was to never let the reader completely rest on the down beats of the action. There must always be an unanswered question such as "Will it work?", "How will the characters resolve this?", "What did they mean by that?", and/or "Did that really happen?!" Always keep something unanswered and layer those so the reader is always hanging until the end.
In the opening of Book 22, events are misleadingly normal. However, by this point readers can expect in the series that what seems like a normal event won't stay that way for long. The interactions of the characters are fun and, as I mentioned in the last writing post, opened a big door for character development. But when that sputtered a bit, I felt it. It nagged at me.
This past week, I found an answer. I started rewriting a couple of scenes to bring in more conflict to increase the tension but then realized how much I would lose of the good stuff I wanted to keep. So, I moved the new conflict to a different point and added a bit to the older scene, all to increase the opening tension until I get into the big stuff, which is the only way to describe it without giving anything away. Now I feel like I have something to move the story forward again; the writing block is resolved. (This happens frequently while writing and at different stages of every book, but this time, it inspired an explanation using this particular point as an example of resolving the issue.)
Through all the writing and rewriting and organizing, the word count didn't increase as much as I would have liked, but after all of that, Book 22 is at about 11K words, or about a quarter done. I don't have a title for this one yet and probably won't until it's done. I'm waiting to see how the main theme plays out. Every book in the series gives me a few surprises.
You are not confessing to the priest but to Jesus. You're simply receiving a guaranteed absolution of sins through the priest in persona Christi by the priest's authority granted in his ordination through apostolic succession (not available from any protestant pastor).
Confession is a bath for the soul. You don't always feel peace/relief immediately after confession, however. Sometimes it doesn't hit until later in the day or the next day. I've wondered about the delay at times, but it's usually a case that I needed to get over my anxiety about confession.
Confession is nerve-wracking for EVERYONE, no matter how many times you've done it. 😬 However, the priest is not judging you. You are making reparations to God for your disobedience.
It is recommended at least once a month or immediately after committing a mortal sin. Mortal sin separates us from God, while venial sin does not but does desensitize us to worse/more sins.
Confession is healing. I've had issues that would not leave me until after I confessed them, no matter how small of a venial sin or defect. Frequent confessions for issues that you trip on will continue to help until you no longer commit those sins. As the exorcists say, sin attaches those demons to you and confession detaches them, which leads to the next point...
Confession is more effective than 100 exorcisms! (Some say more than 1000 exorcisms.)
Be prepared. As soon as you confess, it seems like that's when the devil will tempt you the most to sin again. He does NOT want you becoming a saint. He wants you in hell where he can torment you into eternity. The more resistant you become, the worse the temptations are but the more readily you recognize them to avoid the trap.
Confession is one of the greatest sacraments to bring us closer to Christ and his divine mercy.
Book 22 writing is off and running. I've been dealing with some issues that slowed down the writing for the last week, but the story is going well overall. The slowdown allowed me to consider some aspects of this and give them more thought before writing. I knew the opening scene that I wanted, had come up with it while editing Book 19. It's just what I needed as a way to set up for an angle on character development in this, although originally it was just for my fun, because I wanted to write it.
Figuring out the personality of the new character (from Book 21) is a bit of a challenge. I barely know him, so it's a learning process. That will come out in this book. I intend to take advantage of his presence in this.
I also know what has to happen in this, but that opening scene gave me a springboard for great potential in character development, not only of the new character, but also for L'Ni (like he needs any more development!) and Nya.
In this book, I wanted to reveal a bit more of a particular history that was never fully explained. Not only that, but I also have a few little threads I wanted to pull together in this book. At this point in such a massive series arc, I have a lot of established canon from which to pull. I can no longer make up all new stuff but have pieces to weave from previous books into the current book. As I said, pulling together little threads. And after the jumbled mess (organized mess) that is Book 21, I decided to keep this one linear, although maybe with a couple of short flashbacks just to fill in a couple important pieces of the story.
This series is outlined, but I've left room for changes like characters coming and going. Book 18's farewell to a character wasn't planned, but I made it work and felt it had to be done. I had storylines including that character to the end, but the series arc has been adapted to the change. I also have nearly a dozen extra plots that I could have used, but I knew I didn't want to go past 25 books, so I narrowed the ideas to what I most wanted. I'm now down to the last few of the approved episode plots that need to be in the story to bring the series to a satisfying ending. I hope you've been enjoying the ones that made the cut. They get tweaked to accommodate the changes that happened before they get written. (Look up the history of JMS writing Babylon 5 episodes through all the cast issues and network threats of cancellations and how he had to adapt that as he went and you'll get an idea.)
Right now, Book 22 is currently at 8K words. It's growing, although I wish the writing flowed faster. I have the story outlined--not scene-by-scene but enough to know what needs to be done.
Once this is done, I'll go to work editing Book 20, likely for publishing around late July, give or take a couple weeks. Book 20 explores how Zaer and Shen met and touches on some of their adventures together. I love those two little besties and hope you do too.
Happy Easter! Know that you are all in my prayers, always.
I hope you have been able to improve your spiritual journey and grow closer to Christ in your real life and, for writers, in your writing. Jesus Christ died for all sins from the beginning of time to the end (Jesus is fully God and fully man, the son of God given flesh in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary. To know the Son is to know the Father, and God is outside time and space, the reason he doesn't change by our perception. Therefore, Jesus felt then our sins of this time and for the rest of our lives too!). We owe him our sacrifices to ease His suffering in His passion then (as we perceive time) for all of our past, present, and future sins.
This brings me to my main topic of this post. Because modern fantasy fiction has desensitized our society to evil by twisting evil into something to consider to be used for good, I thought I'd share a series of videos about a topic that Satan uses to steal souls from sanctification. It's easy to say that dark magic or demons are clearly evil, but what about "light", "white", or "good" magic? Still a sin and comes from Satan.
Like the mortal sin of lust inspired by graphic sex scenes, magic/divination/occultism is another way that authors must beware that what they write risks their souls and the souls of readers by scandal (a mortal sin of causing others to sin) in that they lead people away from the one true living God's immutable laws. Fantasy is not sinful, but it can be if you promote any occult practices not only as bad but, worse, as good (spirit mediums, "good" or "white" magic and any other magic, new age, other occult, yoga, etc.). Even something as seemingly innocuous as a "love potion" is a sin and, according to exorcists, brings demons into one's life. All divinations and "magic" come from Satan tricking people into not trusting in God and to being disobedient to God. (The inspiration and desire to write/read/watch graphic sex scenes and the fascination with magic both come from demons.)
Below is a series of videos to help you understand the risks and how to come back to the true Light of God, not the false light of Satan, who can appear as an angel of light and distort the truth to trick you. (Before you think I'm being a prude, I used to be caught up in entertainment of this kind without knowing any better, nor caring, until my awakening and reconversion of faith.)
(Fr. Ripperger homily - he is an exorcist who has become famous for his lectures)
(In pulling up all these, I was also shown videos by proclaimed witches that proved to me how much Satan hates all that is holy. Any videos of witches decrying the Catholic church are from the father of lies, because Satan doesn't want souls saved from his grasp. The Catholic church is the ONLY authority on earth with the power to cast out demons, because it has the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus, who founded His church on Peter, the first pope, and that church became the Catholic church (katholikos).
Demons don't want us to rely on saints either, especially the Blessed Virgin Mary. She was never stained by sin, because God granted her the grace of being saved prior to conception based on what he had planned for her being the vessel of the living Word (God is outside time and space and has full power over His creation), and the demons could never make her fall in the least way. Satan despises her and wants others to hate her (the woman whose offspring will crush his head while he strikes at [the offspring's aka Jesus's] heel) and all the saints (those who are alive as souls in heaven). Praying to known saints in heaven (confirmed through a strict process of the church) is not necromancy. Rather, it is an act of loving God, who is in their presence in heaven, where true love abounds in the desire for the greater good of all (love for one's neighbor is not a feeling as defined in modern culture but an act of the will).
Any occultists that say that praying to saints is demonic are proving that saints are a threat to Satan's power, because occultists serve Satan, whether they believe it or not. The father of lies doesn't want you to lean on the saints as intercessors. Exorcists use relics from saints that are effective against demons, often particular saints, people who in their earthly lives aligned their wills so perfectly with God's that temptations ceased having power over them, despite all the attempts by certain demons.)
I'm not talking basketball. Besides, that's done for this year.
I'm talking the final four books of Starfire Angels: Forgotten Worlds. I can't believe it! Four more books to write and it's done. All this work, this whole journey with these characters... will be finished. I started out with ideas for 30+ possible episode plots but knew that 24-26 would be a good run (and eventually settled on 25), based on a 22-26 episode season of most TV shows from the era before streaming services. Back when we had to record on VHS. Yes, I'm that old. Actually I remember when VHS first became popular, winning out over Beta.
Yikes! How the years have gone by.
How this series has gone by! I started writing Forgotten Worlds in 2018 and released A NEW BEGINNING on April 4, 2019. I'm six years into it and about a year and a half left to go, probably two years until the last book is actually published.
The final four books yet to write.
I finished reading Book 20 & 21 to refresh what I had done with those and make any notes to address when I dig into editing them. The biggest possible issue is that I introduced a new character in Book 21. No one died this time or died and came back. (Did you see that pattern with Ann's and Alric's additions? And they both have "A" names. That's not the case this time.) This new character flipped my plans a bit.
Alric was unplanned too, actually. I just thought it was time to switch things up when he came onto the scene in Book 18. I hope no one hates me for what happened to Vel.
Anyway, this new character changes my plans for the rest of the series a little bit. I've had to consider how I could make use of him or if I need to use him at all. Spoiler alert--yes, I will use him. His addition provides an opportunity for situations I couldn't have done without him like Alric did for Book 21.
I was having trouble figuring out how to use the new character and during one of the three best places for the creative juices to flow (walking, driving, or shower), the spigot of creativity opened... in the shower. I figured out exactly what Book 22 is going to be while moving the series forward in the way I had planned but with some modifications to incorporate the new guy.
Once 22 is done, only three to go. It's not just the final four but the final countdown.
(The music is catchy, but the song actually makes no sense.)
Hang in there a little longer. It's going to be epic!
It's been less than two weeks since I (finally!) published All the King's Men. In the time since, I've been reading through the next two books to catch up before starting the writing of Book 22.
When I catch up on my progress, I do some editing and make notes of anything I think needs particular attention for the deep dive edits (aka developmental edits). My assessment so far is that Darkest Depths won't likely need much rewriting. However, Armor will be a beast to edit. It's a complicated back and forth story that gave me some issues in writing it and, although not as long as Book 19 (the longest of all the books in this series and one that feels like it could have been written to be twice as long, but I didn't want to get over complicated on the story). Book 21 has a complex setup of present action amid flashbacks to previous scenes in the series and some new flashbacks, as well as flashbacks to the setup, such as I used in Book 4. It's a weird hodge-podge of flashbacks and very intricate timing on those flashbacks so I don't give away the plan too soon. It's complicated, but that's why it will require some big time editing when the time comes.
For now, I'm making notes (using Word comments and a separate notes file to address more detailed thoughts) for editing consideration. I may attempt some rewrites on Book 21 now to address the bigger issues I already see so I have less to do when the time comes for full-on edits, but I want to get back to writing too.
I hope to start working on Book 22 by the end of next week. With 25 books planned in this series, I'm in the homestretch now. Book 22 will still be a bit of a side adventure, although those are now all focused on reaching the series climax. A few of the early books were more for fun and getting to know characters and the setting (social-cultural, political, trade, species, technology, etc.), everything from this point is targeted towards the finale, like most of the books in the series. I describe each book as a chapter of one large book (like Babylon 5). They all build on one another, even the few thrown in just for the fun of it. As L'Ni tells Nya, I use everything; there's something in each book that advances the series. No story is wasted.
And for fun, something extraordinary happened at our house this morning--all four cats lined up for the perfect picture! This has never happened before, but the spring return of birds to the yard caught their attention so all had to get a good look.
Book 19 is done! I had a lot of rewriting on this one. I knew it would be trouble when I wrote the first draft. Making the setting plausible--where technology doesn't work--is a difficult bit of explanation. I went back and forth on that every other editing round. I finally settled on a little bit of mystery. It doesn't have to be fully explained. It just has to be plausible. Good enough.
I enjoyed the story, but I found a lot of issues in editing needing rewriting. And I'd go back and forth a bit on some small issues with each round of edits. I also would find my usual issues and hope that I caught all of those.
In the end, it's MUCH better than the first draft! If you could compare the first draft to the final draft, you'd see the dramatic difference in quality. First drafts are getting the ideas down and all the pieces in some format or another. However, there are always word choices to consider. And I caught a few inconsistencies to fix. I hope I didn't miss anything. 😔
Sometimes, as with this, details change in big ways, but most of the time, those are good enough to need only minor tweaks. This story had a lot of unusual pieces to it, especially since the secondary characters of the world became almost equal to the series characters in terms of importance in this. Developing those characters adequately and their lives required a lot of work.
In any case, I'm glad it's done, although I worry about what else I should fix. Art is never finished, only abandoned. I would go on fixing forever and never publish if I didn't stop myself at some point.
ALL THE KING'S MEN is done! The ebook will be appearing in the next few days at online retailers.
This explains why I believe graphic sex in books (among other sins) will lead writers (and others in the entertainment world who promote such things) to hell. They are leading readers to sensual lusts, which damns the creator's soul by damning the souls of their audience.
And if readers, listeners, and watchers of books and videos engage with such immodest, impure, etc. works, they will condemn their own souls. For the creator, it's multiplied by what they do to all those souls of their audience. It's not puritanical. It's not prudish. It's just fact. We don't get to change God's rules. He is outside time and space, therefore never changing. These are His rules, not mine. Disobey at your own peril (eternal damnation). I'm just passing on the message.
You can read more details on the sin of scandal here. There are many different ways this applies in our lives, but guard your senses and restrain your tongue (or fingers on the keyboard) to avoid this.
This manuscript is really making me work to fine-tune it. I knew it was rough, but I didn't imagine it would need this much work!
Part of the delay was trying some ideas that didn't work for certain points of the subplots, so I had to change some things back. In other aspects, the smaller plot holes revealed themselves from behind the curtain that was pulled away during previous big edits. I feel like this will never end. The problem is that it's improved so much that it makes me wonder what else I'm missing. I hate that feeling.
I'm midway through round four of edits, and Book 19 is finally having the fat trimmed. I'm at the point of being ready to be done, but these changes are more than a few words here there as I had expected at this point. Unfortunately, it's still in the stage of major trimming. Copyedits will require one more round.
Help! I feel like I'm stuck in editing Groundhog Day!
This weekend is a weekend of reading. I hope this is the last round of edits on Book 19 of Forgotten Worlds.
While I'm doing that, I often end up now with two cats. And when the weather is nice (not this weekend), I've been getting out to ride my horse. So I have a bit of that too to share.
First up is a video of Buddy sucking his tongue, a weird thing he does once in a while. He was shedding when I was last out too. It's that season, when I start wearing a fur coat on my way home. I trimmed his hooves to start and was so sore afterwards (think power squatting for long periods of time with weights and pulls!) that I just did a little trail riding on the boarding property. He was good for that.
"My bucket is empty, Mom!"
Next up is Bilbo being a cat model this morning showing his different sides.
Big yawn
And the old man is accepting Bilbo better. These were taken earlier in the week when I was editing. Dargo curled up next to me and Bilbo wanted to be there too but respected Dargo's space. They laid next to me for an hour without any issues and Dargo was more and more comfortable with being close to Bilbo and by the end stretched out as much as he could. Bilbo has always been respectful of his elder housemates--not an ounce of aggression in him!--but they've taken time to accept him.
Not sure about this, but a good start
Getting more comfortable
Completely comfortable
Suki decided to enjoy her corner of the dining room rug this morning too to satisfy an itch on her back.
I thank God that in sending us a new cat, He sent us Bilbo. He couldn't have sent us a stray any better behaved. Bilbo has been a perfect gentleman, other than wanting to engage the old kitties in play when they don't want to play. Now that all three senior kitties have had their teeth cleaned and their mouths have healed from extractions, they're a lot less moody. But Bilbo has also been living nearly four months in our house.
