News of Nemesis

Posted on my Facebook page:

I found a way to wrap up much of the story in Nemesis. This is going to be taking the SA series out in a BIG way! HUGE revelations and events in this one. I don't want to continue and to try to outdo myself again. I want the whole series to end in a VERY satisfying way. All the last loose ends will be wrapped up for the major characters you've come to know throughout the series.

This one has been so difficult and dragged out because I have been past ready to be done with the series. The books have always been an adventure to write, but this will be the eleventh story/eighth novel of the Starfire Angels main storyline. I don't want to go sour on them and ruin the series.

Last of all, I've pushed back the release date of Nemesis to August of 2016. I want to be sure I can finish this and edit adequately. This one in particular must be perfect!

Kitty Pics

Because I don't have any big updates, some cat pics. The boys were sharing the cat mat in the window today. Dargo (Siamese) doesn't usually like having Jack (brown/white) close. This was a rare occurrence. And I even caught Dargo grooming Jack a little.

 

Besides the cats keeping cozy on a snowy, winter afternoon, I've been making some progress on Nemesis.

my Buddy and me

For those of us who grew up in the 80's, that subject line should trigger the memory of a pair of dolls advertised for boys and girls.

In this case, I'm actually referring to my horse, Buddy. He's come a long ways in the seven weeks I've had him. We had to overcome ringworm and he would barely let me pick up his front hooves, forget the hind legs.

Buddy is now ringworm free and nine days ago had his teeth tended to by a veterinarian who specializes in equine dentistry. I was somewhat surprised by the difference that I saw in him after that. While it no longer surprises me that removing an animal's pain (or a human's!) can make a BIG difference in how cooperative and relaxed they become, I was surprised at the changes that came from having the teeth tended to. Buddy had two wolf teeth removed and all sharp points and hooks floated. At least one of those was causing a sore at the back of his mouth.

I also learned that he's only 2, not the 3 years that was listed in the sale catalog for the auction where I bought him. Not a bad thing, but it means I'm definitely not pushing him for training over the winter.

In fact, since having his teeth done, he suddenly decided that trusting me with his feet wasn't such a big deal. We had been making slow progress, particularly with the front feet, but even that still brought on a bit of a struggle after a short time on three feet. Now, he's even let me hold and pick out his hind feet.

And now, I can attack the thrush that's deep inside his central sulci, which were pretty well closed off by an overgrowth of frog tissue, and his collateral grooves. And I know exactly how to handle this after dealing with Beau's poor feet. Buddy was good about letting me open up those areas with a hoof knife to his front frogs (hinds looked like someone had taken care of them at some point). But I couldn't believe his reaction when I took a cuticle tool into his hooves and dug out the deep-down gunk inside them. His tense acceptance of letting me work on his hooves became instant relaxation! It was as if he exhaled a great big "THANK YOU!"

After giving all the grooves, especially the deep central sulci of the front hooves, a good cleaning, I filled them with a mix of triple antibiotic ointment and clotrimazole, aka "Ramey's goo". I'll have to stay on top of this for at least a couple of weeks, but my fingers are crossed that we can finally get this boy as sound as he is otherwise healthy. Seeing his mincing, toe-first steps has been frustrating; but at least I know that this is treatable.

He's one lucky horse! Ten years ago, I would not have known what to do for him. But after all I did for Beau, he gets the benefits of that knowledge.

Horse pic spam

I finally have lots of pics of Buddy. It's been four weeks today since he was brought to where I've been boarding and he's transitioning to pasture very well. He's put on weight since the ulcers have healed (he had all the signs that I recognized). With that, he's calmed down a lot, although he was never a nut or anything to begin with. For him, however, he's gone from behaving like a typical young horse to a mature horse.

And his ringworm is healed and the hair has mostly filled in. Thanks to the vet who recommended miconazole, he looks like a beautiful large pony/small horse. I still have to measure to get an exact height. He's a beautiful color and in an adorable little package with a sound mind that I feel will make him a great horse for my kids to share with me.

So, without further ado, here are pics of Buddy and me with Buddy (finally). I'm 5 foot 2 inches, so you can get a fair comparison of his small stature...

The right side of the pic is his left, where the ringworm was worst.The hair is growing in beautifully around that left eye.

His good side (which barely had any ringworm patches).

Getting this was hard, since he wanted to stay close to me. This shows the left side of his face and body.

See...He's not very big. Good things come in small packages, and forsaking all modesty, I mean both of us :)

ps--he's the perfect horse at this time in my life, just as Beau was the perfect horse for me before this. Buddy is my twelfth horse, if you count the ones that weren't really "mine" but were mine in name. Twelve is a great number, as was Ten.

pps--It's hard to believe that he didn't know how to be spoiled four weeks ago, but he's learned to nibble at my pocket with the treats now.

Proposed anthology

Now that Illusions of Truth is out and getting read (every writer's dream), I'm giving consideration of what to do when the 90 days of initial KU is up, as well as when The Lereni Trade's time in KU is up.

I'm thinking of putting together a couple of anthologies of the short stories in my list, one for all the Starfire Angels shorts/novellas and one for a general romance anthology of shorts/novellas.

I'd like to know what you think should go into each from this list:

Starfire Angels shorts/novellas:

When Angels Cry
Deception
Shards
The Lereni Trade
=====

Other shorts/novellas:

A Turn of Curses
Illusions of Truth
At the Water's Edge
Beneath the Crashing Waves

=====

Or should I just put them together in those groups?

I'm thinking an anthology price of $4.99 would be fair for ebook anthologies, since they'd be 99c and $1.99 stories separately.

Or should I make one anthology of about 6 of the best or most romance-centric of these? If so, which six? (I'm thinking WAC, Shards, TLT, IoT, AtWE, BtCW) If so, I'd probably price an anthology like this at least $4.99 plus put together a paperback edition. I like larger anthologies myself.

I could have any of these ideas ready for Valentine's Day. But what do readers want?

Homemade lip balm

First I made homemade deodorant. When I say it works, I mean it REALLY works--my body can be tough for odors. I love the recipe, although I modified the one I found slightly.

Now, I've made my own lip balm.

From Amazon, I bought some 5 g plastic containers to pour it into. These were the perfect size:

As for the ingredients, there are only two: coconut oil and a little beeswax (which has a higher melting point than the oil to keep the whole thing solid at higher temps than those that normally melt coconut oil and it seems to help seal in the moisture on the lips). All natural and very healing. (I was finding that store-bought lip stuff, even the purely "organic" and "natural" balms, were harsh on my lips while pure coconut oil healed them.)

My recipe is somewhere around 1/4 cup coconut oil and 1 Tbsp beeswax (about a 1-inch piece of the block), melted and then poured into the containers to cool and harden. That's it. Oh, and you probably should invest in a stainless steel pot if you don't have one--much easier clean up...After pouring the melted oil and wax into the containers, you'll want to fill the pot up with some water and boil it with some dish soap to break up the residual wax and oil; then dump and wipe out the pan quickly, before the wax cools and hardens.

You can do this yourself with just a small investment and avoid chemicals (except for the acrylic containers, which is why I also invested in some slightly larger glass jars for myself, but they're not very conducive for slipping into a pocket or a purse). The little cosmetic containers were about $9 on Amazon and the same for about 5 sticks of beeswax, which is useful for many things and goes a loooong ways for homemade personal care products. The coconut oil runs about $10 for a medium jar, and I suggest using refined, which has no coconut flavor or smell. That way, you could add your own scented oils if you want, but I don't recommend tainting this.

Here are examples of the ingredients:

(I buy this brand of coconut oil at either Target or my local grocery store, but I noticed in looking for it on Amazon that it runs cheaper there (of course).)

Molasses Chicken

I just scarfed down a delicious experiment in food.

Before any chefs clobber me, just know that I have learned to enjoy the taste of simple foods. It may be bland to some but it can be delectable once you learn to appreciate the taste of real food.

And it only took about 20 minutes to make. (I don't like long cook times when I'm hungry.)

Here's what I enjoyed:

(makes 2 servings, depending on the size of the chicken breast)

1 large chicken breast thawed (cut up into bite-sized pieces will cook it faster)
Olive oil to coat the pan
1 Tbsp of refined (aka flavorless) coconut oil
*I like to blend oils--olive for a little sweet flavor but coconut because it doesn't burn at higher heats
1/2 cup onion of your preference (white or yellow)
1/2 cup cut mushrooms
sea salt to preference

On medium heat in stovetop pan, cook until chicken is thoroughly done, stirring occasionally so onions become transparent and mushrooms soften.

Then add:

1 Tbsp blackstrap molasses
1/2 tsp Apple Cider Vinegar
*these two flavors combine into almost a teriyaki-like flavor, or what I remember of it (soy is out of my diet)

Simmer for about 10 minutes.

When it's finished, I put half in a jar for the next day. The half that I eat, I use as a topping on greens or spiral-cut zucchini.

this, that, and some of those

I have a few updates I want to share:

1. Horses! (It's so much fun to be able to talk horses again.)

I'm finally seeing progress defeating the ringworm on my new horse's face (had it when I bought him). I can see fuzz growing and the hard scabs are all gone. Yay! It didn't take much--miconazole as the vet recommended. And that's easy to come by (aka Monistat in brand name, but I get the generic for this). I've also been washing his face with Betadine/water mix before slathering on the miconazole. Plus, after I'm done with him, I've been dunking the rope halter (which is black, so no staining worries) into the Betadine water to disinfect that too. It probably started working from the first day, but today I could clearly see new fuzz in the sun filling in the scabby areas of his face. The hardness under his jaw (lymph nodes) is disappearing with the fungus. I suspect his immune system was working hard to fight this. Letting him mostly relax in his new home has been the best medicine for his body to heal from the stress that had been placed on him to prepare for that auction, and that is allowing ulcers to heal on the inside, which only helps even more to boost his immune system to fight the coat fungus.

And he's doing well in the round pen. I've only taken him there a couple of times, but we're making progress on lowering his head--the head-shyness is slowly fading away. And he now comes to me immediately after releasing the "pressure" of moving out around the perimeter; no hesitation.

He's getting a little better about having his feet handled. It probably helped having those poorly applied shoes pulled and his heels lowered; they were too high. I'm sure he was sore, especially since he's now stepping out like a nice dressage pony prospect, which makes me giddy with excitement!

Last of all, the horse dentist will be out in a few weeks. Buddy has a bump on his jaw that's tender. I suspect a tooth problem. Between that and the ringworm, I have good reason to wait to put anything more than a halter on him. I want him to feel comfortable and relaxed before I bridle him. In fact, given his flinchy behaviors while desensitizing, I can more than confirm that he was cowboy'd on.

Buddy is a beautiful little pinto with the conformation for doing anything I want. And after all that I endured with my last few horses, especially Beau, I want to give him the best start that I can. That means healing him mentally through building his confidence and trust in me--he wants to but there are a few scars from his last trainers--and healing him physically, which will only help him feel better mentally.

That's the horse update. He's everything I needed and wanted. And when I'm with my horse, I forget about my disease; I am at peace.

2. Illusions of Truth is now available for preorder for the special price of $0.99 (regularly $2.99) at Amazon. The release date will be November 18, 2015. This fantasy romance novella puts a new spin on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale.

In war, the first casualty is the truth. Nira is about to learn first-hand the real truth about the beastly Asru, the enemy of her people, the Ta'fel, but not as she would expect. As a life-giver and the daughter of the ruler of the Ta'fel, she is an invaluable war prize. For the Lord Master of the Asru, Drazan the Dark, she is something more. When she is taken prisoner by the Asru, her beliefs are challenged by Drazan and, in the process, so is her heart.

Reserve your ebook today! Kindle Unlimited members will enjoy this as a free read for the first 90 days.

3. I've learned a great deal more about my autoimmune disease and insomnia. This is a thyroid AID, so hormones easily get disrupted, including adrenal hormones with the thyroid. I now know that I have been deficient in iron. My ferritin came in lower than ideal, although still in the normal range. This means low iron, despite eating meat every day, usually now at lunch. I also eat various veggies and fruits with iron, but the meat is the confusing part. I should be sufficient in iron and ferritin, you'd think. With Hashimoto's, however, I don't produce enough stomach acid and often depend on Betaine to aid my digestion. It's apparently not enough to help me absorb the iron I need. Thank goodness for supplements. In only a few days of iron supplementation, I feel much better.

And I'm sleeping better. I learned in my research that low iron and/or ferritin (the two components are related) can lead to low oxygen carried throughout the body (duh), but what I didn't know was that this also contributes to insomnia. I can only speculate why, but I'd guess it's the body's defense mechanism for survival--the adrenals make up for it by causing alertness, which tends to come at night. So, normal ferritin -> better oxygen transport -> thyroid support (and rest of the organs and glands) -> improved function -> improved metabolism and hormone support -> properly regulated metabolism -> normal sleep/wake cycle -> :D . Just don't go overboard--iron, like all minerals and vitamins, is toxic when too much is in the body.

The takeaway here is that I am sleeping better and waking up more rested and have more energy throughout the day. Hooray!

4. Last of all, The Lereni Trade is now available free to subscribers of Kindle Unlimited. I decided to give it a trial of 90 days as an Amazon exclusive.

Six days of Buddy

He's been mine for six days now. Six days of bonding and ringworm treatment. The first part I've enjoyed--he's a bright, obedient young horse with just a couple of quirks but plenty of potential. I've been dusting his body with No Thrush and it's working. The bumps and "scrapes" signs of coat fungus are disappearing.

However, the ringworm on his face, which I was told had been "starved" has worsened. No Thrush didn't help that as it started spreading, so I had to get more aggressive with treatment on his face. The vet suggested miconazole. Every woman should have that in her bathroom. It's commonly known as Monistat, and if it's gentle enough for the tender areas of our bodies, it's tender enough for equine faces. I started that yesterday, after forgetting the day before, when I bought his first vaccine.

Today, I'm going to start with Betadine, let it dry, and then smear on the miconazole. And just in case, I ordered the new Absorbine Medicated Shampoo & Spray combo pack. I also have iodine shampoo. You can bet that my old brushes will get tossed after this.

I found the No Thrush effective when Beau had coat fungus also, which is why it's my first go-to with any signs of coat fungus. I've also grown up on a ranch, and cattle herds always have some individuals with ringworm (fungal infection) on their faces and none of the horses or people got it. It will run it's course, but I'd rather eliminate it from this poor boy sooner than later. I also believe the immune system, once strengthened, learns to recognize it and attack it in the early stages in future exposures.

Removing the stress of riding, adding to Buddy's relaxation through body work, and feeding only roughage will help to heal ulcers--already seeing proof in his droppings--which will help boost his immune system and heal his whole body to fight this fungus. He's perked up as he's shown signs of improvement, so I'm hopeful that this is a good sign.

In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to keep my barn clothes out of the house. I think the kitties already had their bouts of ringworm at one time or another (after researching the symptoms in cats), most recently, the new kitty when he came in (from barn life) with terrible dandruff and a hairless spot on his chin/throat area that the vet didn't seem concerned about and was itching his head. That's all healed and no more dandruff. None of the other cats developed symptoms, nor did their human servants.

Thank goodness for the owner of this barn being so laid back. She's seen it all and doesn't get frazzled. Where I boarded before, someone (especially the owner) would be freaking out. Strangles, ringworm, thrush...it all comes and goes. It's just another aspect of owning large animals. A healthy horse on the inside, however, is the best defense against the plethora of pathogens that live in the outdoors. That I learned in my journey to better health.

Delicious hot/cold salad

Having learned to live with the taste of real food, not seasonings, and liking quick, nutritionally well-rounded meals, I've come to enjoy certain combinations. It's not easy following an autoimmune diet with its restrictions, but it can be done.

No salad dressing (except a homemade vinaigrette on the good histamine days) is one of those limitations that about kills me. Greens are SO good for us that we should be eating them all the time. However, they're bland and boring...rabbit food, as my hubby calls them. So, I've created some combinations that have helped me to improve my intake of these highly nutritious plants.

This is how I like to get my greens:

It's quick, nutritionally dense and very complete. I'll swap between different types of meat, which vary in B-vitamins (besides being full of minerals), but try to stick with lean ground beef or chicken (seen in the picture).

This should only take about 20 minutes total to prepare in the following steps:

1. Thaw one chicken breast (in the microwave usually). For convenience sake, I like Nature Raised Farms or Naked Brand chicken. If no thawing is needed, don't worry about this step.
2. Turn on the stove to a low-medium heat and pour a little olive oil and/or coconut oil into a pan to warm. I like to have a little extra for a sauce on my greens so am liberal with the oil.
3.  Cut up up some onions and maybe some fresh mushrooms. I have limited choices on mushrooms, so I usually get whole fresh portobellos and cut up the buttons into bite-sized pieces. Throw those in the pan.
4. Cut up the chicken breast into bite-sized pieces (cooks faster and more convenient than having to cook it later) and throw those in the pan.
5. Sprinkle on sea salt to taste.
6. At this stage, I sometimes also add in asaparagus and cut the spears from the tips down into bite-sized (usually about 1 inch) pieces.
7. Stir together and cover with a lid. Stir it every few minutes. It should take only about 10 minutes to cook once the pan is hot.
8. While waiting for the hot topping to cook, cut up some romaine lettuce, lettuce greens, kale, spiraled/grated zucchini, and/or spinach. Mix and match however you please or want to experiment. The hot topping bring in all the flavor.
9. I sometimes also grate carrot for extra sweetness.

Once all is done, enjoy! You can also prepare the hot ingredients the night before and refrigerate them or split them into multiple smaller servings to take with you (separate from the cold ingredients) to reheat for a new meal ready to go.

Living again

I have been a horseperson for over 30 years. I've had some good horses and some mediocre horses, and then one who has proven too dangerous for anyone (although a beauty, he proved to be one of those without any sort of brains).

And then I got terribly sick, discovered it was due to autoimmune disease, and went through months of recovery to find balance. But in all that, I was having difficulties feeling anywhere near normal. A year ago, I said good-bye to my last best friend to put him out of the pain he suffered, which I suspect was due to an equine form of autoimmune disease. It took a long time to heal emotionally and physically, but I always felt that his spirit was with me, pushing me to continue. He came into my life to teach me the good and prepare me for my own challenges, and he taught me more than all the horses I had had before him.

Since last spring, I wasn't sure I would be healthy enough to care for another horse, but over the summer, as I healed, I started to hope that maybe I would. I saw a light at the end of that dark tunnel growing closer. I saved my money, waited, made arrangements for potential boarding. I reviewed sale postings locally but nothing was quite right, and then the time came for the annual fall auction. I pulled up the catalog online, reviewed the pony listings and planned carefully. I wasn't going to spend my money on just any horse. But this time, instead of a tall horse like Beau was, I knew I wanted a pony that I could share with my kids. And this time, I told myself, I wasn't going to be competitive; instead, this horse would be a trick pony, english and western riding, and a kid's horse with a little dressage thrown in. I knew what I wanted and waited, growing eager with each passing day leading up to the sale (this weekend).

Yesterday, I took my list of lot numbers and traversed the sales yard (I've done this before but this time had specific requirements in mind, unlike when I was younger and didn't know as much). I crossed off the ones that didn't fit and marked the few that did. Some I couldn't determine because they had blankets on.

I lost the bidding war on one pony this morning and was waiting on another when I saw Buddy enter. He had been on my list but I hadn't seen much of him yesterday because I wasn't sure since his blanket hid his number. He fit what I wanted perfectly! I hadn't had a good look at him before, so I took a chance, but I knew a young horse like him (3 yo) had a lot of potential and little chance of being ruined. I have always LOVED Paints/pintos, so that caught my eye right off the bat. He was calm, neck reined wonderfully, and was the perfect size (14.2 hands). He'll grow another inch or so, but will not top 15 hands when he's done, which is the max size that I ever want. So, I bid. And as the auctioneer kept asking for a hundred more than my last bid, which was skirting my max, I prayed the other person didn't go higher. When I heard "Sold for [my bid]", my heart jumped. #687 was mine. While I'm cautious, since I will need time to discover his quirks and work through them, and I have my own health to consider, I am excited.

All the way to the sales barn today with my oldest child along, we drove west, following a double rainbow, which vanished with the rain cutting off the morning sun in the east as we reached the sales barn. I told my daughter that this was a sign. And it proved too prophetic. It turns out that the horse I got is the fourth in a series of "B" horses I've owned, the previous three all having proved that they were my "B"est horses--purely coincidence but a weird one. I'm hoping that Buddy continues that streak.

Buddy, in his pen at the stockyard.

I fell in love immediately. He's 3 but already very well broke and very quiet and easy-going, which fits my bill perfectly. As you can see, he's balanced and well-proportioned, and he could lope in the tiny sales ring, so I know he can do anything.

I know my new limitations and may not always be able to ride or do much, but at least I will have back a piece of my soul that was missing. This was the right time and, I'm hoping, the right horse. Only time will tell.

Already, I can feel that the excitement has stirred up some reaction of the AID inside me, but I'm hoping that once I get to start being his buddy that his presence will help me cope or at least feel more "normal". I have been a horseperson for over 30 years. To be without a buddy (as I always affectionately called my boys), has been frustrating. Now I will have a new Buddy, in every way.

Updatery

1. First off, who doesn't like goofy cats? We have four now. God forbid I should want another. Adding Jack was just chance of right place/right time of falling in love with a very rare cat. It's hard to believe he was a barn cat until two months ago. He's such a little attention whore! He'll cry with louder, more irritating yowls until he finally gets held the way he likes, and it usually means the human must stand, not sit, although when I'm at the computer, he makes an exception. Go figure.

We love talkative cats, but Jack goes beyond the capacity of even a Siamese.

2. I'm finally getting my body healed to where I can feel good most of the time. Yippee! Today I feel fantastic. The last couple of days that wasn't the case. I have good and bad days.

However, I've realized that certain supplements actually seem to work against me. I'm not sure why I feel tired when I take any amount of B-complex (methylated!) or D3. That's a mystery. On the plus side, I feel great when I take a milk thistle complex, so I have to wonder.

The other lingering problem is still hormonal imbalances, including insulin and cortisol. I tend to have periods of hypoglycemia on occasion. Also, I have nights where I am alert and up all night and sleep all day. Not good. I have been pushing myself to perk up during the day and using the Adrenal Reset diet to reset my adrenals, but sometimes I fail; it can take months after years of messed up living. I'm having more frequent nights of sleep when I do eat at specific times and load my carbs in the evening, but then I have setbacks if I don't stick to it. It's very disappointing when that happens.

3. My diet has played a big part in the healing. I pushed my tolerance of high-histamine foods for lunch today and feel okay--body aches and some faintness but otherwise not as bad as I used to, especially considering how many histamine-rich foods I had in my lunch. After enjoying my tea first (which I usually put off until midafternoon because, apparently, the tannins in tea can block the absorption of iron, which I need), I ate a late lunch.

I love having a salad at midday and getting my greens but can't use salad dressing. After my mother mentioned taco salad once, I decided that since I can't tolerate tomatoes and peppers (both nightshades), that I can make simply "meat" salads. Instead of taco-seasoned meat on lettuce with all the toppings, I simply fry up some meat with onions and garlic, and sometimes mushrooms, add some olive oil and maybe coconut oil and some seasonings and sea salt. Throw that on some greens, including the spinach I've been adding in, and I have a hearty salad. Today, I added a dash of ACV to the meat mixture. Apple Cider Vinegar is high in histamines (due to fermentation), which is a risk for me, but I have to keep testing my tolerances to see where I am, then step back for a while.

Since changing my diet, I've also noticed a new appreciation for foods I used to dislike. I now enjoy sweet potatoes, which made me gag as a kid, but only if fried crispy. I still don't like the texture, but they taste good. Also, I've discovered that I now like pineapple. I used to hate the flavor. Now, I can't get enough, but since it's high in manganese, I do limit myself. We can get too much of a good thing, even in nutrients. And in eating a whole foods diet, all those deficiencies that led to overeating junk disappear quickly, which is a factor in satiety.

4. Now on to the writing news. After finishing The Lereni Trade (now available), I didn't go right back to Nemesis. Instead, I had a spark of inspiration for a fantasy romance novella. It's an interesting take on the old beauty and the beast themes. In this, it's actually hard to see who is the true beast--is it the beast on the outside or the beast inside? Illusions of Truth will be out sometime this winter. It's a novella and will be exclusive to Amazon for at least the first 90 days, free in Kindle Unlimited and $2.99 otherwise.

5. I'll soon be jumping back into Nemesis. After a rewrite in one section right before the point where I left off, I will pick up finishing it. I'm not sure it'll be ready for the planned release date on February 4, 2016. I'm expecting that I'll need to push that back until May or June. Those who have preordered will still receive it when it becomes available, but I won't push to put it out before it's ready. I know fans have been waiting, but my life is different now and I have to work with what I have.

6. With my body out of whack, the creativity fluctuates too much to rely upon it being there when I have the time to sit down and write. This is frustrating for me, but I've learned to just go with the flow, and no longer stress about writing. I have finally succeeded in relinquishing the monetary motives to write faster. I've told myself that for the last few years, but it took getting sick to finally accept that living means being open to change and taking it moment by moment. I miss a lot of living when I hide away with a story. I just wish I didn't have to suffer to realize that.

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

7. There's something that's been missing in my life for nearly a year and the time has finally come to bring in what will be another time sink but one that has brought me great pleasure since I was young. A part of my soul has been missing, but I feel that the friend I put to rest last year has been an angel lurking over my shoulder, nudging me to get back to it. If it's meant to be, things will work out. I will be disappointed if it doesn't, but at the same time, I know I have new limitations that I didn't have before. In a few days, I'll know.

8. One last item of no big consequence...I updated my headers here and FB and Twitter. You'll notice that I now display all the book covers I have. I forgot one novella, When Angels Cry, but will get that updated in the next couple of days. I stare in awe of all that I've written, which doesn't include my early attempts before self-publishing gave me my dreams, which include becoming a member of SFWA. I knew they added up but seeing them all together like this is inspiring to me. If something happened to me tomorrow, I will have left quite a legacy. (Not counting the Dark Angel Chronicles, which is actually an omnibus of the first 5 Starfire Angels books below it, there are 15 novels, 2 novelettes, and 5 novellas to date. Illusions of Truth will be the 23rd book / 6th novella.)

I wish you all the best, and happy reading!

The autoimmune protocol diet

I've finally realized that in order to stay functioning with the least amount of pain and cognitive issues, I MUST follow the autoimmune protocol diet. Of course, everyone has to customize to their individual needs/sensitivities.

At the basics for reasons that are best explained in books I'll list below, here is what I now follow in a nutshell:

1. No sugars, not even artificial sweeteners (which are worse than real sugars)...my only exception is honey in my tea as a special treat once in a while.
2. No processed foods - eliminates most inflammatory foods in one fell swoop, including dropping sodium and sugar intake!
3. No grains (gluten and oats make me dizzy, tired, and a few hours later cause tummy discomfort; rice just immediately causes gas.)
4.  No dairy (I've learned it is a BIG and immediate source of inflammation for me all over and even out to my skin in the form of a lifetime of acne; my complexion is beautiful now!)
5. No legumes (soy is a definite problem for me; peanuts, peas and cashews to lesser degrees where I can tolerate them on occasion and only in small amounts. I don't eat beans anyway, so no loss there.)
6. No tomatoes/nightshades (the exception is potatoes on occasion, which I can tolerate quite well)
7. Lots of water throughout the day

Sorry, but no matter what I did, I couldn't not eliminate some of those foods. I wanted to keep them, but I found that eliminating them all was the only way to feel like I might have a normal life.

Every other whole food is actually pretty good to me now, although there are some that I must limit, like fermented foods (too high in histamines).

For my specific issues (Hashimoto's), I must also limit iodine. Too much makes my thyroid swell and feel like its crushing my throat.

And to balance blood sugar, I also limit fruits as much as I can to a max of 3/day.

You'll find MUCH greater detail in these two books (which I've read after figuring out my diet):

The Autoimmune Solution is a great, general, easy-to-understand overview of what the author refers to as "The Myers Way". She is a licensed M.D. specializing in functional medicine. You'll find her way is identical to many other autoimmune protocols anywhere on the internet. But here it's in one book with a section of recipes at the end.

In The Paleo Approach, Sarah Ballentyne goes into great depth about why we should avoid certain foods and the detailed effects they have on our bodies that make them problematic for sufferers of autoimmune diseases. I'm still reading it but find it extraordinarily helpful. However, it is like a medical textbook in all the details of cytokines, B-cells/T-cells, mitochondria, etc. Be prepared for some heavy reading. I enjoy the details very much, but someone else may not want the nitty gritty minutiae of how our bodies function. In that case, you're better off sticking to the book above.

In addition, I've also discovered this gem of a little book, thanks to research on hypoglycemia (recommended on a forum that came up in my search), which has been an occasional problem for me:

I've tried balancing my diet a few different ways and discovered that this works great for getting a restorative sleep. I've mentioned it in previous posts but want to say that I've learned to eat like this whenever I can.

Here is the basic eating plan I find works best for me, thanks to The Adrenal Reset Diet suggestions of carb-loading:

• Morning first thing: hot water with lemon (to cleanse the liver and aid digestion)
• Breakfast: 2-3 eggs/other meat (I love morning eggs!) + a serving of fruit/vegetable
• Morning snack: nuts/seeds and/or small serving of fruit
• Lunch: Meat (chicken/beef/other) usually more than the tiny 3 oz. recommended + green leafy vegetable + other veggie/fruit
• Afternoon snack: tea and/or other whole food like a raw veggie and/or nuts/seeds
• Supper: all veggies and/or one fruit (depending on fruit prior in the day) depending on how hungry I am by then
• Before bed: a small snack of veggie/fruit and/or nuts/seeds

I limit fruits to no more than 3/day to limit my sugars and try to consume them in conjunction with a protein or fat to slow the metabolism of the sugars. Berries are the main go-to. However, if I do wake up at 2-3 am (usually warm and wide awake), I'll go for anything that's quick to get my blood sugar back in balance to lower my cortisol so I can fall back to sleep, and it works. I also try to limit my nuts/seeds to small quantities.

As you can see, I don't eat heavy proteins with each meal, focusing them in the morning and early afternoon (the richness of B vitamins usually perks me up, which may be part of the reason I don't want to sleep when I have them later in the day). This is what has proven to lead me to better sleep at night, which the body needs to repair/regenerate itself. No more endless insomnia!

I am continually refining the things in my life that I can do to boost my immune system and decrease inflammation. Keeping a journal has helped a great deal, but these books would have helped me even more had I found them sooner.

I've cleaned up our household in other ways and switched to a wake-up light as recommended in The Adrenal Reset Diet and find them helpful, as well as refined my supplements (most nutrients come from my food now that my digestion is better), but this post is about the diet, so I won't get into the other details. I hope this helps others searching as I did for relief from their symptoms.

Finished and in progress

This is completely finished and to be released early (September 26):

Available for preorder from online retailers and ready to go for only $0.99 for a limited time!

And then, there's this:

A cover for the latest short fantasy that I've been working on. It's expanded a bit from where I thought it would be in length, but that's made it even more compelling. the tagline at the bottom reads "Seeing through the eyes of another can shatter the lies they choose to believe." I'll have a description for that upcoming, but first I have to finish writing the story. This one will be available only from Amazon and free through Kindle Unlimited.

Both of these are shorter than novels and only available as ebooks.

After this, I'll finish Nemesis.

New kitten

I don't think I've shared any pics of the newest family member. This is the barn-kitten turned housecat that I couldn't resist adopting from a friend's barn...Jack (Sparrow/O'Neill/Samurai (very appropriate considering the little needles on those white paws)/Harkness). All cats in the household are named after SFF characters. "Jack" may seem ordinary, but he's named after many characters we like.

I swear he's part ragdoll:

 

Dargo is not BFFs with Jack, but tolerates him. When Jack plays, he gives Dargo a run for his money. Jack is pretty fierce and very bold, much more so than Dargo. Serves Dargo right for all the times he's been rough while playing with Suki >:)

 

I'm not sure if you can tell, but jack is the prettiest brown tabby with tuxedo markings.

Jack has been with us for a month, has been neutered, and goes in for his final set of kitten shots this week. Litterbox training him was never an issue. Barn-to-house cat was the most natural transition for him. And he was well socialized with humans and other cats so much that he's very loving to the point that I know when it's time to get up in the morning by the cold wet nose and face full of fur shoved into my cheek.

Best toothpaste for health sensitivities

I just had to share this little tidbit from this past week...

I had my quarterly teeth cleaning with a very picky hygienist, but the same I've seen twice now. This most recent visit, she said my gums are better than she's seen them, hardly any inflammation and certainly no tenderness that I noticed from her picking about them.

Since my health problems, I had to drop toothpaste and mouthwash. I shudder to recall the reactions right before giving them up. I'll just say it was not fun. For a while I was using water.

Since my last checkup, however, I decided to make my own toothpaste. My recipe was simple--coconut oil, baking soda, and extract for flavor (but not much since all extracts are alcohol based and can cause a slight reaction in histamines). That's it; pretty simple. Mostly (refined, aka tasteless) coconut oil (a natural polisher and anti-microbial) with a little baking soda added and a drop or two of peppermint extract. For me, once the oil hardened and everything set in a little squeeze bottle from Hobby Lobby, it was good to keep in the bathroom.

It only takes a pea-sized amount, if that, each time I brush and I changed nothing else about my oral hygiene since my previous dental checkup. With this homemade toothpaste, my teeth have always felt smoother, cleaner than with the chemical-laden big brand stuff. And this is safe for kids also. Swallowing it is no big deal since it has no harmful ingredients. In fact, coconut oil is good for you.

Inventing recipes...Squash

So, I can't have tomatoes, or pasta, or pizza for that matter. What can I eat when I can't have most grains or nightshades? Squash!

Squash spaghetti

I have had "spaghetti" zucchini as meals before. I love zucchini, and you don't even have to cook to enjoy it. Just shred lengthwise and you're done in seconds.

The sauce I thought up on my own. It is a different kind of squash, a sweet squash. I think it was butternut squash. I can't remember because I had cooked it a few months ago and cut it up into individual serving pieces, bagged it, and froze it. I took out one of the larger pieces, thawed it in the microwave, and pureed it in my Ninja with a little water. I then dumped it into a small saucepan with a tiny bit of butter (for the flavor only), a little extra virgin olive oil (for the flavor), and some coconut oil. I then Ninja'd a leaf of savoy cabbage, a little bit of green onion, and a medium clove of garlic with some water and dumped that into the saucepan. I got that all simmering then added some dried basil and fresh oregano and some fresh onion. I simmered off some of the water to thicken it and blend the flavors. It didn't take long. The sauce was literally awesome-sauce in my opinion. I had enough for this serving with just enough extra for lunch tomorrow. The sauce would be good with other pairings too.

The white pat is goat cheese. I love goat cheese! A little with each bite added the perfect flavor. I debated just putting it into the sauce but didn't know how that would turn out, but on the side was perfect. Chevre makes a nice condiment or base in recipes, especially when you're trying to avoid certain dairy proteins.

I've had a little reaction but nothing major. It's not the squash or the ingredients (maybe the cabbage--goitrogens can cause problems for me), but it's not unusual for all food to cause a slight problem; it's more troublesome that even sipping water makes my neck hurt sometimes. I just live with the fact that my thyroid doesn't like anything I do anymore and eat as healthy as I can.

ps--this is quite filling!

Beyond Starfire Angels

The Lereni Trade, a Beyond Starfire Angels novella, is set for preorder at the major retailers, including Amazon.

You can now download a sample to your device from Amazon and Smashwords.

Preorder for the special price of only $0.99 and find out what else is out there besides the Inari that readers have come to know in the Starfire Angels series.

-------

She grew up disregarded by all and put her attention into studying, but Krissa longed for friends. In her lonely life, an alien abduction was the last place she expected to find them. But it's not by chance that they've found her. Her Lereni captors have plans for her as an exchange to save their world from its ruthless conquerors, the Tah'Na. Only her life can free them, but not even they know why she is worth the freedom of a whole planet. A possible clue rests on her wrist, a stone bearing a symbol from another alien race. One Lereni will show her what friendship means and defy his commander to save her, but they may all need angelic intervention.

---------

This is only the first of a new subseries expanding the Starfire Angels universe.

The latest

So, after all I've been through over the last 5 1/2 months, I have discovered a few things. I've written about many of them here previously, so I won't be repeating myself. However, I will be making a few concise points.

After having a specialist say my levels were "normal" (despite my protestations of the symptoms I've had), I went back to my doctor and requested further testing. As I expected, they did reveal something. Here's the thing, though--while my levels were in the lab's normal range, if I use the standard ranges that I found on medical sites online, my levels are low on FT3 and FT4. Anti-TPO is "slightly" elevated, according to my doctor. Autoimmune diseases run in the family and the closest relative was my brother, who had Graves' Disease when he was only 21.

Yeah. I'm not buying the I "don't yet have and may never develop" part of my doctor's statement. I know how I feel. I may be at the early stage of an AI disease known as Hashimoto's thyroiditis, but I'm going to do all I can to put it into remission and keep it contained like the beast it is, because this particular beast can multiply into other AI diseases.

What I can say is that, from what I've been able to glean from message boards and posts, I've been doing everything right to improving my quality of life--going gluten/soy/dairy/[insert other inflammatory substances] free, healing my gut, correcting nutritional deficiencies, and insisting on the medical tests needed to diagnose and monitor this thing. I don't want to end up incapacitated, especially the way I was when this all blew up after an upper respiratory illness the last weekend of February.

I'm on the right track, have been through most of this, playing detective to solve my own mystery. I'm disappointed in our medical system for not taking on this role. These so-called professionals aren't doing the evaluations. We have to advocate for ourselves.

And I'm very happy to report that my efforts have been paying off with improved concentration, memory, and creativity...and the return of a few other things I lost over the last few years. Yes, the creativity has finally returned! I'm taking it day-by-day, since each day, or even time of day, can be different. I'm working on resolving the rotating insomnia issue--when the creativity bursts back, it often keeps me up all night. I'm not sure whether to love or hate it.

I've been working on editing The Lereni Trade to get that up for sampling before the release date, which is coming up quickly. And I may have another small surprise shortly after that, but it's still in the works and I don't always feel focused enough to write when I do get time. Because of this, I may have to push back the release of Nemesis to later next spring, but I'll only make that change if it becomes an issue. I'm hoping to squeeze in finishing that for February 2016.

In the meantime, thank you for all positive thoughts and prayers. It has been a trying time in my life when I have most needed support. I appreciate your continued support as I learn to accept this new "normal". I don't know what's to come, but I will take it as it comes.

body-mind connection

I finally got some sleep last night and woke up raring to go on Nemesis. It was...wonderful! I just had to write and knew exactly what needed to be done.

It's amazing how correcting nutrient deficiencies, using natural remedies, and timing can restore one's health--physically and mentally. It's taken almost five months, but I'm recovering something that I must confess that I haven't felt in many years. As long as I enjoy writing, I know I'm doing the right things for my body because, when I was messed up trying to get back on track, writing was the last thing I wanted to do--even living was the last thing I wanted to do. I kept myself going for the sake of keeping going and trying to rediscover my motivation, and my memory.

Now, I know it was a physical issue affecting my mental health. I have healed my gut, which has corrected most of the histamine intolerance. My prayers were answered in that. I keep praying for healing and I keep fighting for my health. My latest battle has been for my thyroid. I've added supplements of selenium in the form of Brazil nuts (2-3 per day is more than sufficient and I can feel it) and iodized salt, along with the usual D, B-complex, C, and magnesium (primarily in the evening to help me fall asleep, at least for now). I've had symptoms of hypothyroidism vanish just by adding iodine and selenium. Most of my nutrients I get from eating whole, nutrient-dense foods now, and I don't doubt that learning to eat no processed foods helped me to heal; but I'd be fat if I truly ate enough to fulfill the normal nutrients requirements, which is why I supplement when I have gaps.

The thing is, we're each different. I may need more thyroid supporting nutrients than someone else. I'm older now and my body isn't functioning as it did in my youth. For a while, I needed L-glutamine to heal my gut faster. I've also discovered that my insomnia can be corrected naturally. I mentioned the magnesium, most of it concentrated in the hours before bed.

I also have decided to go to bed earlier, as my circadian rhythm has changed. Instead of going to bed late and waking up halfway through the night and missing out on an extra 3-4 hours of sleep, I've been following the tiredness to bed much earlier to fall asleep when my body is saying it wants to sleep. If I wake up early, it's not as bad.

However, in my situation of waking up between 4-5 am and then tossing and turning for the next few hours until the alarm rings, if I get enough sleep before then, I could get up for the day and write and/or exercise. I've learned of a natural method to correct that too. In my case, it means a small complex carbohydrate meal before bed, which changes the chemistry that happens during the night. So far, I've seen immediate improvement. It's been a long time since I slept well. The first night wasn't perfect, but I woke up feeling better than I have in a long while. I'm praying for a miracle and realize it will take more than a night to retrain my mind and body to sleep the whole time, but I have nothing to lose in trying.

One thing led to another over the years to where my body crashed this past spring and took my mind with it (days of dementia-like symptoms when it hit after several weeks of memory issues had me terribly frightened), but I was determined to pull through it. I've had to make sacrifices and push doctors to investigate, but they rely heavily on their test results. A naturopath I see has done more than them; and in my last visit, she said she was going to suggest a thyroid problem and that I was on the right track with the changes I had just made the day before that visit. My memory improved dramatically in fixing those deficiencies!

I thank the internet for all the information that has helped guide me, although it can be difficult to determine what's legit and what's not. It's all legit in its own way, because everyone is different in their health. I went from gluten intolerant (still am, along with crossover in oats, unfortunately--I love oats in many forms--for now; that could change with further healing) to candida die-off (I was a massive sugar-holic) to histamine intolerance that had me hardly eating for a while and having to be careful about what probiotics I used. I'm still a little intolerant of some foods, but not nearly as histamine intolerant as I was for a while there. (I discovered that many thyroid issue sufferers--2/3 of whom are women of middle-age like me--often suffer from histamine issues too.) And now that I have been able to add foods back in and use them for further healing, I've discovered the root of all problems in my thyroid.

I don't doubt this is where my problems started long ago. I look back and see symptoms of it and histamine issues that I ignored. I didn't have time to focus on myself and some (what I thought were) minor inconveniences, until all this came to a head. Then I could no longer ignore the warning signs. I didn't know that I was a mess physically, which wreaked havoc on my mental health. I've learned that these mental issues are a sign that something is physically wrong in the body. Consider this a warning that if you feel depressed, anxious, "off", suicidal, consistently tired, achy, etc. there is inflammation somewhere in the body. You can get better by making changes; but it won't be easy, it won't be instant, and it will take some trial and error.

In all this, I've learned valuable insights into healthy living and some lessons that I hope my kids take to heart. 1) You can't give up. 2) Get down to basic nutrition. And, 3) it takes time to heal. It took me years to get into this mess and so far, it's been five months of clawing my way out but I'm not yet near where I want to be, where I know I can be in my goals. I don't know if I can get there, but I will do my best. At the moment, I feel better than I have in a long time.

Now, if I can just get the sleeping down, life will be perfect :) Every little step in the right direction is reason to celebrate and, after the worst that I suffered, all my other problems are miniscule in comparison. Yes, things could be worse, but for now, I'll revel in what I have. Focus on the positive. I fought the demon and lived to fight another day.

And when it comes to writing, I'm loving it again. I haven't felt inklings this strong in a long time. I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep that going for many years to come!

New cover for Fireblood

The new cover for Fireblood is finally here...

It will be going up on the retail sites over the next week after spending months in the works. I'd say it was worth it.

Be flexible

We only get one life to live.

I understand that now. For too long, I thought I had to write every day to be a writer, or reach a minimum word count. I sacrificed my family to pursue it. You know what? It's not worth the sacrifice, no matter how big the dream. When you're young, it seems like nothing is happening, despite the small steps. But at some point, you realize all that you missed. Then it's time to play catch-up in a different way.

Don't go through life with blinkers on. (Blinkers are the flaps on a driving bridle that keep the horse from seeing what's behind him and might frighten him.) Like that horse that only can see ahead instead of everything around him, you'll be missing out on many things. Rather, be willing to deviate and make adjustments.

I've learned that I don't have to write every day to be a writer or to reach a goal. I'll get there in the end, but I don't have to race ahead on only one focus. I've learned to deviate when I need to and can always return to the path I left after exploring the path I didn't see because of the proverbial blinkers I used to wear. I've done that in writing a couple of books now--breaking from one project somewhere in the middle to go off on another--and I've learned that it tends to work out for the best. I've also decided not to force myself to write if I'm not in the mood. There are plenty of other things going on around me, especially with my family. When I lock myself up with the computer, I shut them out and I shut myself out of their lives.

We only get one life. Take advantage of ALL that it has to offer. Don't die with the regrets of what dreams you don't accomplish. Rather, live so that in the end, you are fulfilled by the richness you discovered by being willing to take a different path than what you thought you wanted.

(It took feeling like I was going to lose my life as I knew it to realize this.)

Amazing nature

I encountered this coming out of our neighborhood this morning (facing west):

This morning mist rainbow occurred with the fog obscuring Bismarck, looking to the west with the sun in the east. I don't know if anyone has seen anything like this before, but it was a first for me. I'm glad I had my phone set on panorama!

ps--I didn't know such a spectacle was possible. Isn't nature amazing?

frightening

Want to know a secret about being a writer?

We're generally (there are exceptions) introverts. Our biggest fear is the rejection of others.

With the release of Awakening, I'm afraid of that readers will not like this latest effort of imagination and find everything wrong instead of enjoying it for what it is. Those who don't "get" our work frighten us.

That's true with anything in life. We all have fears. But there's the big secret writers keep from the world, despite the protestations of many. It may be buried deep beneath years of experience or on the surface of the newbie, but it never leaves us.

We want you to like our worlds as much as we do in creating them. We hope for the best but dread the worst.

While I could say I don't care what readers think, I still have to peek on the first reviews of a new work. It still matters.

Disappointing readers frightens the bejeebers out of us!

Nevertheless, we keep working, because writing is creating and we feel compelled to express our thoughts in the form of pictures through words.

Now you know the hidden secret.

Nemesis cover

Thank you for all the feedback on the cover (from all sites)!

It seems that a modification of the second cover choice in my previous post has won out...

It's a compromise between strict"science fiction" and what Starfire Angels has been, setting the tone of this story as it is, which is not a romance. That feather seems to hint that there's something more, giving it just the right touch, imho.

Now I need to get back to finishing Nemesis! I left off about halfway into the story. On a good note, the time away was just what I needed. I left off where I was muddled and this time away gave my mind the breathing space to resolve the issue that had stymied me. I now have a concise plan for the rest of the book which wraps it up quite nicely.

I hope to finish the first draft this summer and set it aside to return to Enlightenment, hopefully by end of summer/early fall, if I can get the writing up to speed again. With a clear vision of the rest, it should be easy, but it's always easy in theory :b EDIT: I've set up the preorder on Smashwords with a release date for February 4, 2016. I am committed to finishing this!

And speaking of preorders, on a final note, The Lereni Trade is now set up as a preorder on Smashwords. It will distribute to BN, Apple, and Kobo over the next couple of weeks. I'll post links when I have them.

Which cover?!

Help! I can't decide which one I like best, so I'm looking for outside opinions.

Option 1:

Option 2:

I've done various iterations of each. This story in the Starfire Angels series is not a romance. It features Leksel and Valdas being forced to work together to save their lives, their beliefs (which clash), the Starfire, and the universe. It is action, drama, and an act of revenge on the part of Valdas for what has happened to her (read Phantoms for more on that).

Which cover version would most likely make you want to read the book, besides waiting on the next part of the series, if you're a fan?

Also, would you make any tweaks (besides the top blurbs, which I may change before the cover is finalized)?

Finishing the latest novella, writing plans, and more...

I have a few news items to share:

1. Yay! I finished the first draft of The Lereni Trade, the first of the "Beyond Starfire Angels" subseries. In this, we learn that aliens other than the Inari have used Earth as a sanctuary, but they have ties to the Inari "angels" of the Starfire Angels series. This is a little different type of story, but I think you'll enjoy it for what it is. Watch for more to come on this novella, which should be available sometime this fall, around September/October. By the end of summer, I'll have a more definite date on that.
2.  The Goodreads giveaway of twenty signed paperbacks of Awakening expires tonight. Only 8 hours remain as of this posting. And here's a secret...the paperback is already available. Tomorrow, I will be addressing envelopes to the lucky winners! The ebook is only $0.99 for a limited time on preorder through the release date. Check the book's page for links: http://melanienilles.com/Awakening-shadow-realm-saga.html. You can read the ebook before the June 28 release date, but at a premium, if you absolutely, nail-bitingly can't wait. The book is divided into four parts with the first part free.
   
   
3. Now that the novella (mentioned above as item 1) is finished, I am going to try to get back to finishing Nemesis (Starfire Angels: Revelations Book 3) before going into Enlightenment (Shadow Realm Saga Book 2), but I am not amused with my muse when I try to determine what should be written. She often leads me off-course, so keep your fingers crossed that she doesn't lead me astray once more. If I can ignore any seductive whispers to return to SRS, I should be able to have Nemesis out by the new year, as I had originally planned.
4. And keep your fingers crossed that my health doesn't interfere anymore. I recently had a flare-up of elevated histamine symptoms that had me being cautious about heart problems; but not to worry--I'm as healthy as one can be, according to the test performed by the medical "experts" (the same ones who continue to dismiss mast cell disorder potential without even taking the time to listen to me). I suspected histamine overload but followed up to be on the safe side--one never knows and I'm not young anymore! I know where I went wrong, however (got cocky and anxious to eat more "normal" foods and OD'd on histamine-rich foods the day the symptoms hit hard). I also learned that antihistamines have a rubberband effect on symptoms. Sure, they might ease it temporarily (ranitidine was a Godsend for a little while) but I have to wean off them ASAP and eliminate every potential food source of histamines for at least a few days while getting through a short period within 24 hours of the last dose of any antihistamine (H1 or H2) where my body thinks even a sip of water is dangerous (a burning face and prickling fingers are only hints of what might come). No more taking chances. I absolutely HATE feeling that awful (headaches, chest pain, neck and shoulder pain, stomach cramps, constipation, foggy brain, intermittent lightheadedness and dizziness, etc.). Upon my oath as a writer with fans, I will watch what I eat and pay closer attention to the warning signs of too high of a histamine load that could upset my creativity and writing! I want to finish these series as much as you ;)
5. Related to item 1, I would like to see this world expand even further. Beyond Starfire Angels is a great opportunity for others to play in this world. If you would like to collaborate on a project using the Inari or creating other species and tying them in, please contact me first.

Just arrived!

Copies for giveaway!

Twenty copies of Awakening are up for giveaway on Goodreads. (Click this link: https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/140838-awakening) Less than 4 1/2 days to go! You can still enter. All will be signed, sealed, and shipped next week (after winners are selected).

Some will go to beta readers. And others will be used for promotional purposes or direct purchase (contact me using the form).

The full version will be available for purchase June 28, 2015. Another book is born!

Thanks for reading!

Cat break

And now for a word from my attention whore cat...Dargo

Dargo enjoys his little outings on the deck, but that's as far as we let him go--too precious to us to let him wander outside to get lost, killed, or sick--and he rolls and rolls as if to mark it with his scent in his own cat way of saying, "This is mine!"

What's next...

Awakening is coming out this month! (Like you didn't know...Sorry for the inundation with news over the last couple of months.) I won't say any more than that.

But what's next?

When is Nemesis coming out?

The second is the question I've answered most over the last year. I've been busy in the last year with other projects and real life. If you haven't followed it all, I released Spirit Blade last fall then went into what is now Awakening, putting off any new Starfire Angels after working on the series for five years. I finished Awakening in February and started editing to have a big health crash a month later, which took a lot of trial and error and digging and medical tests to finally get down to a likely cause and back to feeling like myself. Once I was able, I finalized all the details on Awakening and went into promotion mode, which is where I am still.

However, regaining my momentum in writing after a prolonged period of editing or nothing at all (didn't have any focus/interest in writing while I was at my worst) can take a while for me. I am still recovering from my health predicament and healing my digestive system. But with that has come greater creativity and focus, so I foresee some exciting things happening.

The most immediate is a new novella. I originally started it as an experiment in something far different, then decided to rewrite it into a tame story, and then I decided to tie it into the Starfire Angels universe. You read that right--the Starfire Angels universe. But this book expands that universe. The Beyond Starfire Angels series will focus on side stories that aren't part of the main action. It also has great potential for cowriting and/or fanfiction (please contact me if you're interested).

I believe you'll enjoy the first story set in this series, The Lereni Trade, a novella of interspecies romance with some ties to the Inari (angels) of the Starfire Angels series. These stories will be stand-alones and will only loosely tie into the main series; I don't plan on numbering them, unless I decide to write several stories tied together. Right now, however, I have two series to work on (Demon Age and Shadow Realm Saga) and just want to have something different and fun with no obligations other than the occasional random story I feel like telling. BSA will afford me that opportunity while expanding on a world already established, which can be both easier and harder.

I will get around to finishing Nemesis, but after my ordeal with my health, I have realized that I need to just enjoy what I have while I have it. That includes writing. I can't force a story. Please have patience. I will get to Nemesis when the time is right, and then the story will be well worth the wait. What I have already will make it all the more appetizing; I guarantee it (but my muse led me astray for a while).

Until then, you can sample Awakening in its four parts or wait for the preorder, and in the fall, you can enjoy seeing what else is possible with Starfire Angels in The Lereni Trade.

Thanks for reading!

---------------------

Coming FALL 2015!

Book Giveaway Time!

Enter at Goodreads to win a signed copy of Awakening, the first of a new romantic fantasy series:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Awakening

by Melanie Nilles

Giveaway ends June 15, 2015.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

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My weight loss secret at forty years old

So, you've heard it all before, but here's what I discovered in my journey back to health and subsequent weight loss. Keep in mind that I'm not a medical professional, nor do I have any special training in this; rather, I've simply put together what I've read and experienced myself. I've always been in good shape, but my body had enough of the garbage I was putting into it to fuel that activity level.

Calories and exercise count, but you have to make a full lifestyle change. Here's what I've learned:

Start in small steps, and if at any time you're not sure of how to manage your diet, work with a dietician (but don't believe when they say grain is good for you--it's not! Read the books by William Cook, MD and David Perlmutter, MD for a start). If you have any medical conditions, be sure to consult with your doctor BEFORE making any lifestyle or dietary changes like those I list below, or you could end up with life-threatening issues! I cannot stress that enough, because your body will change and may not be able to handle some of the transitions as easily as an otherwise healthy person would. This is why I suggest small steps that get progressively harder.

One caveat: the further you go in this process to better health, the more discipline it takes, but the results are worth it...

1. Begin drinking lots of water between and before meals. Hydration cannot be stressed enough. You can do this while progressing with the rest. It will also help keep a feeling of fullness to reduce calorie consumption and aid the kidneys in eliminating waste.
2. Keep a food journal. I use a small notepad but wish I had started it a month earlier. Write the times, exact ingredients, amounts (best guesses, even noting a "pinch" or "handful" is helpful), when and what medications and supplements were taken, and any reactions in your body (aches, acid reflux, dizziness, fatigue, tingling, etc.) and what times those happened. This will be of tremendous help if you have any problems.
3. Get some exercise every day. I find that I feel less stressed and fall asleep easier at night if I get out walking or on the treadmill for 30-60 minutes a day. That's all it takes for cardio. And move throughout the day. Also, add in some resistance training (weights). Muscle burns more fat, so building muscle helps to lose weight. If you have trouble walking or climbing stairs, you can at least lift weights to strengthen you upper body.
4. Learn to wind down with meditation or quiet time away from electronic devices. If you have kids as I do, take those precious moments when they've settled down--don't dread tv or computer time as a distraction--or are napping. Relaxation helps as the exercise does to reduce cortisol levels and soothes our body, mind, and spirit.
5. Learn to read labels and what each ingredient really is.
6. Get the Fooducate app on your phone and start scanning labels. This was recommended to me and I love it. It's free at its basic level, but for a small fee of $1.99/month or $14.99/year, you can customize it to your specific needs.
7. Add a good probiotic. I have found Hyperbiotics's line of probiotics (PRO-Women, PRO-Kids Children's Probiotics, PRO-15) to be one of the best for me, but your situation may require something different. I suggest starting out with something low and progressing to a stronger, more complete probiotic over the course of the next few weeks. You don't want a rapid transition (more on this below).
8. Cut out all high fructose corn syrup. This makes the rest of the transition easier.
9. Begin the day with a cup of hot water with lemon. Be sure to twist the lemon to extract the oil from the zest. This helps to cleanse the liver, provides a feeling of fullness sooner, and supplies many other health benefits.
10. Shop in only the fresh foods, meats, and dairy sections, usually the outside of the grocery store. You'll discover a whole new world of food that you probably didn't fully consider before and it's a new adventure! Begin your meals with these foods so you get more of the nutrient dense foods before anything else. And if you don't have any issues with FODMAPS, add in fresh garlic and onion. Fresh garlic adds zest to salads and is a natural anti-microbial, and both of these flavorful bulbs support healthy gut flora as prebiotics. I also love the taste of a little red onion in my salad and sauteed onion in all my cooking. They add lots of flavor, whether white, red, yellow (my favorite for sauteeing), or green.
11. Add in healthy fats, like real olive oil (beware: many oils on store shelves are not pure olive oil--research!) like California Olive Ranch (my favorite) and coconut oil and occasionally butter. Don't overdo it, but don't be afraid of them, even in your meats. Fats are satiating and will help to reduce the amount of calories you ingest at each meal and keep you fuller longer.
12. Eat protein every day--eggs (yolks especially), chicken, turkey, beef, lamb, etc. These are your main source of the healthy B vitamins that fuel your energy and brain. You only need a small serving to satisfy your daily needs. In fact, I find that 2 eggs every morning is sufficient, but as a meat-lover, I will enjoy a 4 oz. steak, homemade hamburger, or a serving of chicken later in the day. No processed meats! (If you're a vegan/vegetarian, you'll have to find other sources. I'm omnivorous as our ancestors were, so I'll enjoy my meat and all its benefits to my health.) Tip: whole, unprocessed meats are usually cheaper from a butcher than at the supermarket.
13. Once you're eating whole foods, remove all grains (and read Wheat Belly by William Cook and Grain Brain and Brain Maker by David Perlmutter if you want to understand my reasoning for this). *This will be a truly difficult transition. Grains are everywhere, especially in processed foods. That means no wheat, rye, barley, spelt, quinoa, rice, etc. Grains feed bad gut bacteria and fungi, reduce our bodies' ability to absorb nutrients, and only make us hungrier than we would be without them (they are addictive). You will go through a withdrawal period where you'll feel worse, but sticking it out is very worthwhile. You may even go through symptoms of candida die-off (very likely) where you feel flu-like symptoms--malaise, headaches, chills, fever, etc. This will be short-lived, but if it persists, jump right to the next step to get it under control. Replace these with nuts and seeds that are dry roasted or fresh (no oil roasted or flavored).* To make this easier, consider grains to be your heroine or cocaine. You'll understand why if you read the books I mentioned. This helped a friend of mine fight the addiction, and she's feeling better than ever after eliminating grains.
14. Cut out all starches and sugars--table sugar, honey, artificial sweeteners, and even sweet fruits (most berries, bananas, mangoes, etc.) and starchy foods (like potatoes and peas). Do this until the flu-like symptoms fade. Then add in only a few sugars a day, like a drop or two of honey (such as in tea or yogurt) or fruit, both of which have at least some health benefits to go with the glucose spikes. Once you get past the worst, the cravings will fade, so you won't want to eat them so much, but if you do, keep them in small servings to minimize the insulin spikes. Insulin leads to visceral fat (belly and organs), which produces estrogen, which causes more weight gain, etc. in a vicious cycle. You'll have to learn to get creative with your meals.What foods are you allowed? More than you probably ever considered. You'll find so many options. In my transition, I have learned to try new foods, many of which I've discovered that I really enjoy. For help, check out paleo diets, mediterranean diets, or other similar recipes that exclude grains and refined sugars.
15. Now, empty your cupboards of all processed foods. No more preservatives, toxins, sugars, etc.
16. Cut out dairy, except yogurt and goat/sheep cheese, which are rich in beneficial bacteria for your gut, calcium for bones and regulating physiological functions, satiating fats, and other nutrients. An occasional small bit of milk, half and half, or cream in coffee or tea is okay, but unfermented cow's milk has no real health benefits and is purely for taste, imho, and should be treated as a treat rather than a staple.
17. Treat yourself with an occasional small square of dark chocolate (the higher the percentage of cacao, the better). This has nutrients your body can use, but less than 100% cacao has sweeteners added. Go for the purest you can find--minus additives and preservatives, always eat in small amounts, and treat it as a treat, not a staple.
18. Eat PLAIN yogurt with live bacteria cultures every day. If you don't like the taste, add in your favorite flavors with extracts (vanilla and orange will give you the dreamsicle flavor) and a tiny bit of honey or stevia (not table sugar or artificial sweeteners) or fruit. I've discovered that one of my favorite (and most satiating) things is to mix 1/2 cup of plain yogurt with 1 tablespoon of natural Skippy peanut butter (no sugars and no preservatives added, so I keep it in the refrigerator and the oils don't separate). I'm weird that way, but I love peanut butter and this is a great treat in the evening to keep me full and less tempted to snack. I also like yogurt with vanilla and a drop or two of honey, which is just as easy but not nearly as filling, so great as a breakfast treat, but you can add in a little fruit (no more than a handful of fruit to a cup of yogurt--sugar!) I split my yogurt servings to mornings (after my eggs) and as the last thing at night to keep candida under control by boosting good gut flora.
19. At this stage, begin fasting between meals. You'll be feeling fuller longer, so eating every 3-4 hours will be an easy stretch. (On a typical workday, I eat at 7:20, 12:30, 5:30, and may have a small mid-morning or mid-afternoon snack, such as 2 Tablespoons of pumpkin seeds, 1 Tablespoon of sunflower seeds, or 1/4 cup of mixed nuts, but not all at once. I also enjoy my tea in early morning and/or mid-afternoon and the salt of these dry-roasted seeds and nuts goes well with unsweetened fruit/berry tea.) Your main meals will be larger and more filling and your sugar cravings will be gone, so you won't feel like snacking; but sometimes your body will say it needs something more. Aside from sugar cravings, listen to your body.
20. Under the guidance of a medical professional, add in supplements where you may be deficient in nutrients but NEVER high doses (unless recommended and monitored by a health professional). And be sure to adjust and/or remove them day-by-day, as your needs will vary by day. Some vitamins and minerals are water soluble, which means they flush out of the body with lots of water (B1, B2, C, etc.). Others can cause toxicity--B6 (not more than 1-2 mg/day, which can be easily obtained through meats), D (400 mg/day, easily obtained in enriched yogurts and cheeses), magnesium (sunflower and pumpkin seeds are high in this, along with other foods), calcium (contributes to arterial plaques when not absorbed properly), copper, zinc, etc. It's all a careful balancing act, but I live by the motto of less is more, so I don't overdose on any supplements, which can make matters much worse, rather than better.

• While copper must be balanced with zinc, excess copper, as with B6, can fuel bad glut flora like candida.
• Although it is toxic in too high of doses, magnesium is one of those minerals where most of us are deficient and it helps calcium absorption, among its many functions in our bodies.
• Try to obtain your nutrients from foods whenever possible. While seeds and nuts are rich in magnesium and other nutrients, meat is strong in B vitamins, oily fish once a week provides EPA and DHA, and green leafy vegetables are rich in most everything else; you may need a few boosts to get you on a better path if you aren't eating these. I like to cut my magnesium 100 mg tablets in half because for me, it knocks me out to take a full tablet even at low of a dose. Plus, I may eat seeds at some point and not need any more magnesium in the day. I also take a fish oil supplement that I don't plan to continue every day once I feel that I'm back on track with my neurological recovery. And be careful with vitamin D. This helps the body absorb calcium but requires vitamin K to absorb (found in green vegetables).
• If you eat right, you won't have to use many supplements and if you do, you'll find you can begin cutting them out after a period of finding the right dietary balance, some sooner than you might expect; unless you have special nutrient needs due to a medical condition (in which case, you're likely already working with a doctor, so continue to do so). The exception may be vitamin D, which our bodies must make from the sun on our skin, something that living in the north leaves me deficient in most of the year.

Remember that the "Recommended Daily Allowance" is usually based on a 2,000 calorie-per-day diet for an average sized person! You will be eating much less by the time you get through this, and your height and weight at any given time matter. Recalculate your nutrient needs as necessary.

For example, I now eat 1,000-1,200 calories per day and that's plenty. I also am quite small at 5 foot 2 inches, so I don't need as high of nutrient amounts as the government recommendations state to feel healthy, especially since I dropped from 125 at my highest (and getting hard to maintain much less decrease on my old habits) back to 110 presently (three pounds from my pre-first-pregnancy weight thanks to changing my eating habits). My current weight allows me to get by on less nutrients to maintain my health. I used to maintain this weight easily...twenty years ago. I'm now forty years old, nearly forty-one. I didn't consume nearly as many nutrients then as I do now, but as we age, our digestive systems, like the rest of our bodies, become less efficient. Our task is to fuel it. Make every calorie count.

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT COMPLETE AND IS NOT MEANT AS MEDICAL ADVICE! Read the books I suggested for the doctors' information, talk to a nutritionist and/or naturopath (who are more open to these types of health changes), and research. Above all else, coordinate with your medical doctor, especially if you have a medical condition!

I went through a terrible transition of histamine intolerance, which I now attribute to gut dysbiosis (an overgrowth of bad gut flora) and a die-off and toxin release and likely leaky gut, which has since healed, but all my medical tests were "normal"--bloodwork, negative stool testing (tested only for parasites and one bad bacteria), clean colonoscopy and upper endoscopy. Even a dietician was stumped. I made all these transitions (not necessarily in this order, which is why I'm looking back and seeing what I should have done to ease my transition) and I made them myself to get to where I am now--feeling great! I sought medical help but no one listened to me. I will finally get to see a naturopath in a week, but I've had to wait because she is a busy lady in high demand, and I am a new patient to her.

Always get medical help where you can. I'm only providing this as guidance, so that others may not have to suffer as I did. Get ahead of your health while you can!

The results that are possible if you can stick it out:

• WEIGHT LOSS! Part of this is by stabilizing your blood sugars and insulin. Part of it is because you will eliminate chronic inflammation throughout your body. (I lost a pound a day in the first week of changing my diet simply by cutting out grain and it has slowed as I continue, but I am working at getting my pre-pregnancy body back from nearly thirteen years ago--just three pounds left!)
• Clearer thinking
• Expanded creativity
• Memory improvements
• Calmer state of mind
• More energy throughout the day
• Restful sleep (I used to be an insomniac and now sleep great)
• Eliminate depression and anxiety
• Eliminate muscoloskeletal aches
• Lower blood-sugar levels
• Lower blood-pressure (mine was creeping up but has since dropped back to where it was before I ever had kids)
• Eliminate yeast infections/thrush
• Eliminate/reduce acid reflux by stabilizing your digestive system
• Regulate bowel movement
• Reduce/eliminate IBS symptoms, gas/bloating, constipation/diarrhea
• Improve immune system
• Reduce or eliminate your needs for medications **NEVER reduce or eliminate your medications without consulting your doctor**
• Reduce PMS symptoms
• Eliminate acne (something that plagued me my whole life until I made this transition--without makeup, I look fabulous and have the best skin in my life, except around that time of the month.)
• Reduce perimenopausal symptoms

These are just some of the incredible benefits that can come from changing your lifestyle, based on my experiences and what I believe is the easiest way to make that transition when you don't have the push of severe symptoms threatening if you fall off the plan.

Good luck in your own journey to better health!