Horse pics

Nothing more. Just wanted to share some more recent pictures of my Buddy, my saving grace, the beacon of light through the darkness of the past two years of struggling with Hashimoto's and untreated hypothyroidism. Now that I am being treated, I'm moving ahead with his training and seeing encouraging results with him.

Me and Buddy Aug. 28, 2017

Buddy in his herd

My noble little big man

I often share these first on my instagram page at https://www.instagram.com/melanienilles_author/ .

the view from the saddle

The world looks different from the back of a horse. It's more peaceful and connected. One doesn't think about their problems or, if they do, those problems are minor compared to the beauty in that moment.

A horse doesn't plan ahead but lives in the moment. Really, they are incapable of that wider scope of cognitive function. Rather, they base their immediate reaction on experiences of the past based on the situation that they are in at that moment. They don't think that the sign in the road might blow in a sudden gust, but if it does, it becomes a monster at that time. You can pass the same sign a hundred times but suddenly on one-hundred-one, it's a fire-breathing, horse-eating monster. Horses live in the now, this moment. We can learn something from that.

I think some of that somehow affects us when we are with our horses, connected. When I'm with my Buddy, I am in that moment. I don't think about projects at work or what so-and-so might be scheming (somewhere) or my writing and what plot point I need to conquer. Rather, it's just me and my horse conquering the world together. That's it. Nothing else.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about how to get him to cooperate in a task. I still think about what I'm doing, but he has my undivided attention and when it comes to riding, it is all about that moment, each moment. It's very liberating.

This morning was a beautiful morning all about preparing Buddy to head out on the trails. After lunging and some arena riding, he was pretty subdued and focused. I've been taking it one step at a time in an effort to give him the most positive experiences possible. We've slowly graduated from one small step to the next: round penning and desensitizing -> lunging -> riding in an arena -> lunging and riding in the pasture and leading down the road outside the fences -> riding outside the fences.

We rode outside any fences this morning for the first time. My goal was to just ride along the property that he is familiar with, getting him used to being ridden somewhere outside an arena. I don't want to push him too far too fast. I never have. And he's rewarded me greatly every chance I've had to work with him. This morning, we did have an issue along the trailer row, but we would reach his limit of fear and I let him retreat to where he was comfortable and calm again, then we rode back and I'd ask for a little further before retreating. He wanted to run away, but he has the personality of a superb trail prospect. He listened to my voice and seat (which I try to keep relaxed) and the bit pressure (which wasn't that much). We did that three times and by the last time, reached the end of the trailer row and headed back to the arena far more calmly and with little rein pressure. That was good enough progress for me!

Buddy is not a flighty horse but he could be if we hadn't prepared for this. I've spent almost two years building his trust and confidence in my leadership. And I've done all I can to let him make the right choice so that I don't have to discipline. He's challenged me a few times, but it's never been too difficult to make him realize that misbehaving isn't worth the effort--he's a bit lazy, thank goodness. It's that laid-back personality, partially natural and partially from training, and achieving first his trust in my leadership on the ground and then his trust in my leadership on his back that combined to bring out the best in this little guy. It's not about the human being the boss but, rather, a trusted leader and partner.

And I did measure him recently with a proper measuring stick. He may not stay a pony for long at already 14.2 hands at 4 years old. Unfortunately, he looks like he will end up being a small horse, which tend to not score so well in shows against larger horses. He won't qualify for the pony divisions against other small equines. But, I have a happy little horse who will eventually carry me anywhere and do anything.

horse update

We have a drought here, so we're praying for rain. And it's been HOT!

Because of the heat, I've been going out to see Buddy in the mornings when I can. It worked out well today. I went out to work with Buddy. The outdoor arena was being worked up, so we lunged outside to get that done while waiting for the arena to be clear. Once that was possible, I rode. He gave me a few young horse moments, but nothing terrible. He's generally very cooperative, but he's still young enough--and damned smart enough!--that he could get spoiled very quickly with the wrong rider. It didn't take much to correct him and then he fully cooperated. He just had to try.

After our ride, I gave him a spring bath, something I've been wanting to do for a while. He gets so disgustingly dirty crossing through the creek in the pasture.

I also did something I've been dying to do--brushed out his tail. I don't do that unless it's cleaned and conditioned, which I did today. You pull out fewer hairs by leaving the tail alone, so it stays thicker and longer--I ended up having to trim it, because it gets so long. Other horses at the barn have thin, short tails because the owners brush them out all the time without washing and conditioning first. I had to shorten his with a scissors, like I did last year--it helps keep it from getting muddy, which gets flicked all over when he's swishing flies, and it helps keep it from picking up cockleburs.

Anyway, he cleaned up to have bright stockings, so I took a few picks of a clean horse, who probably got dirty crossing the creek soon after I left around noon. With the drought coming on, the herd has been crossing the creek to get the grass on the other side, but it's getting crispy there too. We're all praying for rain.

He cleans up nicely! (You should have seen how muddy he was from fresh creek mud!) And look at how long that tail was. It's still long, but not so close to the ground.

the story of Buddy

Okay, I'm not totally obsessed with my horse, but horses are a big part of me. I've said before that horses are a part of my soul. Not having a horse partner is like death and I can only have one at a time. I mean that. Buddy has saved my life.

When my last and dearest horse I had ever had in my life went downhill in his health, I made the difficult choice to put him down. I had never done that before, but it was clear that he was in increasing pain and nothing I did helped him. I took him to a good place where he was put to rest and I can visit him any time. But he has visited me.

I sincerely believe that Beau was looking over my shoulder a year later when I went to the sale barn thinking I'd take on a pony that I could share with my kids and handle with my new health difficulties. I knew my skills could match whatever I found.

At an auction, one never knows what they'll find, but there are hidden gems. Buddy was one of them. He had ringworm, bad teeth, and had been cowboy broke into submission. However, he'd been broke fast to look good in the sales ring. Luckily and unluckily, he'd only been 2, not 3 as he was listed, so I knew that I could undo any training mistakes since he hadn't had long enough for bad handling to cement any bad behaviors.

I knew to be wary and I had my strategy for the couple of ponies I thought would fit the bill, one being that I took one of my kids with me. I know the games that horse traders play and especially those who work that particular semi-annual sale. I lost on a smaller pony but I won Buddy for what I consider a fair price--ponies are always in high demand and high priced. But I do love the thrill of bidding at an auction.

Buddy came with baggage, some of which I quickly dropped. He learned that he didn't have to just take whatever I did. He learned to open up to me, through massage and natural horsemanship and by clearing up the ringworm on his face and getting his teeth floated (the equine dentist discovered sores in his mouth in that first visit just a few weeks after I bought him). He was given a winter to grow up and get used to his new home and herd. It was too cold outside and I was going through a terrible time with my health to get out to see him more than a few times until spring came. Our first spring (2016), he had bloomed!

Last summer, Buddy took to natural horsemanship immediately, and then had to learn to accept side reins and the bit. He had some baggage yet to work through, but he had awakened to a new world and an easier life. He was able to grow up. I didn't ride him more than 15-16 times all year, but he was only three years old. Mostly, I focused on ground work, his feet, and becoming a human he could trust. I had already used our first six weeks before the winter set in since buying him to establish trust and confidence in me, but that went even further when we started working together last year. And I started him in a much gentler bit than the one he wore in the sales arena.

We ended 2016 as a team. Buddy had the advantage of everything that my over 30 years of horse training and then trying to care for Beau's worsening symptoms taught me. He had an owner who could help him physically and mentally to overcome what might have happened to make him contain his emotions. He learned that, while his human had rules, he could express himself because that human would listen; and he came out of his shell to become very expressive and cooperative with training that takes the form of questions and being directed toward the correct answer rather than punishing him for not understanding. As an example, he went from not letting me handle his feet when I first bought him to giving me his feet a year later--they need regular treatment to avoid infection that causes heel pain. He now understands this and lets out a big sigh after all four feet get their triple antibiotic ointment/clotrimazole mixture. (Tip: most foot pain in a horse can be attributed to one or (most likely) a combination of 1) contracted heels, 2) poor trimming, 3) infection, 4) sugar-rich diet...not navicular disease.)

Buddy and a friend, Chevy

We started 2017 as partners. Once again, I gave him winter off--MUCH too cold and snowy to be out for more than a quick check. As the previous year, we started with ground work. Buddy is such a smart little guy that he picked up right where we had left off last fall as if he hadn't had 3 months with hardly any handling. This time, I started with being sure he would yield his head by reaching his nose fully around both sides to his ribs, but I also asked that he relax before I let him go, combining a natural horsemanship technique with body work. This actually worked out to help him even more than I expected.

It wasn't long this spring before I got on for the first time, which happened a few weeks ago. Today we had our second ride (spring decided it wasn't ready to come back and I had busy days in there when I couldn't do much with him). Buddy finally let me ride a posting trot circle on him. We tried once last year but he wasn't sure about my posting and didn't want to trot. He started that way today and then decided to go with it.

Before our ride today, I lunged him with side reins. Last week, when I last lunged him, I started asking for frequent walk-trot transitions to keep his attention on me rather than the herd. He started sitting and reaching more forward at the trot and developed better balance. Today, I asked for that from the start and saw the transformation. He is quick to learn and when guided the right direction, the training seems effortless, like he already knows what to do.

Buddy (April 30, 2017)

I have felt from the beginning that Buddy came into my life for a reason. It could have been any horse, and I might have done far worse with a horse from the auction, but Buddy is the calm, easy-going horse that I need in my life right now. Although he's not a fancy mover, he is easy to care for and work with. I dearly miss Beau's giant strides (when he was at his best, before his deterioration) and the uphill canter (that he would no longer perform in the end because he was in too much pain). However, my life changed and Buddy is the right size (pony sized) and temperament for me now. And Beau's expensive dressage saddle fits him--that almost never happens.

I cared for Beau when his health deteriorated and did everything I could to try to make him feel better. I failed. Now, Buddy is taking care of me. Since I've had him, I've gone through some of the worst issues in my life and had contemplated suicide when things were at their worst. It was knowing that Buddy was there for me, needing me, and that I might be able to return to the joy I once knew by sharing my soul with a special horse that gave me the courage to keep trying to recover. Had I not had a horse, my soul would have been empty and had no reason to continue the struggle through the despair of my health problems. I feel that the day I found Buddy, I had a four-legged angel looking over me making sure that I was taken care of and giving me a purpose.

I have a dream for Buddy--National Pony Dressage Finals. Someday. He'll be able to do it when we're both ready.

All that I've been through has taught me not to push and has given me a patience that I never had before in my life. I feel like I've arrived at that special place that all the old horsemen find. I know now what horse whispering really is--taking the time, having the patience to listen. It's knowing how to ask for cooperation by showing the horse that what you want is easy; It is making the horse feel secure and confident. All that I've suffered has been a blessing in disguise, another lesson that I'm sure came down from a four-legged angel. Thanks, Beau, my original buddy!

Nemesis release and a correction

I want to say Merry Christmas to my readers...or whatever holiday you wish to observe. In any case, I was able to get Nemesis available at least in Amazon for the Christmas holiday. It will be available everywhere else on January 3, 2017.

At last, Nemesis is finished, and I am finished with Starfire Angels. This story wraps up the lives of all the major characters and I am very satisfied with how it concluded. I hope you will enjoy it.

Description (updated):

Since stealing Raea from Valdas and her team of Shirukan, Leksel was never on good terms with the Shirukan general. He sliced her face in the fight to take back the Crystal Keeper. She destroyed his wing in retribution. When circumstances bring them face-to-face through an unlikely source, a truce is tenuous at best. Leksel needs Valdas to guide him to the Keeper that set her free from the du’kir brood ship and to retrieve the Starfire shard on the infamous Annihilator, and Valdas needs Leksel to help her destroy those who betrayed her. Two former Shirukan working together to cut out the heart of the Shirat Empire might be a powerful alliance, if they can overcome their loathing for one another. 

Amazon


On a side note, I wish to say that I corrected my review of Rogue One after my husband corrected me. I had thought that Tarkin was played by Wayne Pygram, and sometimes it sounded very much like him, but apparently, I should have looked closer. I have made the correction, but I sure could swear that it was Scorpius. Scary that those actors could have such similar voices and bone structure.

Kitty Pics

Because I don't have any big updates, some cat pics. The boys were sharing the cat mat in the window today. Dargo (Siamese) doesn't usually like having Jack (brown/white) close. This was a rare occurrence. And I even caught Dargo grooming Jack a little.

 

Besides the cats keeping cozy on a snowy, winter afternoon, I've been making some progress on Nemesis.

my Buddy and me

For those of us who grew up in the 80's, that subject line should trigger the memory of a pair of dolls advertised for boys and girls.

In this case, I'm actually referring to my horse, Buddy. He's come a long ways in the seven weeks I've had him. We had to overcome ringworm and he would barely let me pick up his front hooves, forget the hind legs.

Buddy is now ringworm free and nine days ago had his teeth tended to by a veterinarian who specializes in equine dentistry. I was somewhat surprised by the difference that I saw in him after that. While it no longer surprises me that removing an animal's pain (or a human's!) can make a BIG difference in how cooperative and relaxed they become, I was surprised at the changes that came from having the teeth tended to. Buddy had two wolf teeth removed and all sharp points and hooks floated. At least one of those was causing a sore at the back of his mouth.

I also learned that he's only 2, not the 3 years that was listed in the sale catalog for the auction where I bought him. Not a bad thing, but it means I'm definitely not pushing him for training over the winter.

In fact, since having his teeth done, he suddenly decided that trusting me with his feet wasn't such a big deal. We had been making slow progress, particularly with the front feet, but even that still brought on a bit of a struggle after a short time on three feet. Now, he's even let me hold and pick out his hind feet.

And now, I can attack the thrush that's deep inside his central sulci, which were pretty well closed off by an overgrowth of frog tissue, and his collateral grooves. And I know exactly how to handle this after dealing with Beau's poor feet. Buddy was good about letting me open up those areas with a hoof knife to his front frogs (hinds looked like someone had taken care of them at some point). But I couldn't believe his reaction when I took a cuticle tool into his hooves and dug out the deep-down gunk inside them. His tense acceptance of letting me work on his hooves became instant relaxation! It was as if he exhaled a great big "THANK YOU!"

After giving all the grooves, especially the deep central sulci of the front hooves, a good cleaning, I filled them with a mix of triple antibiotic ointment and clotrimazole, aka "Ramey's goo". I'll have to stay on top of this for at least a couple of weeks, but my fingers are crossed that we can finally get this boy as sound as he is otherwise healthy. Seeing his mincing, toe-first steps has been frustrating; but at least I know that this is treatable.

He's one lucky horse! Ten years ago, I would not have known what to do for him. But after all I did for Beau, he gets the benefits of that knowledge.

Horse pic spam

I finally have lots of pics of Buddy. It's been four weeks today since he was brought to where I've been boarding and he's transitioning to pasture very well. He's put on weight since the ulcers have healed (he had all the signs that I recognized). With that, he's calmed down a lot, although he was never a nut or anything to begin with. For him, however, he's gone from behaving like a typical young horse to a mature horse.

And his ringworm is healed and the hair has mostly filled in. Thanks to the vet who recommended miconazole, he looks like a beautiful large pony/small horse. I still have to measure to get an exact height. He's a beautiful color and in an adorable little package with a sound mind that I feel will make him a great horse for my kids to share with me.

So, without further ado, here are pics of Buddy and me with Buddy (finally). I'm 5 foot 2 inches, so you can get a fair comparison of his small stature...

The right side of the pic is his left, where the ringworm was worst.The hair is growing in beautifully around that left eye.

His good side (which barely had any ringworm patches).

Getting this was hard, since he wanted to stay close to me. This shows the left side of his face and body.

See...He's not very big. Good things come in small packages, and forsaking all modesty, I mean both of us :)

ps--he's the perfect horse at this time in my life, just as Beau was the perfect horse for me before this. Buddy is my twelfth horse, if you count the ones that weren't really "mine" but were mine in name. Twelve is a great number, as was Ten.

pps--It's hard to believe that he didn't know how to be spoiled four weeks ago, but he's learned to nibble at my pocket with the treats now.

New kitten

I don't think I've shared any pics of the newest family member. This is the barn-kitten turned housecat that I couldn't resist adopting from a friend's barn...Jack (Sparrow/O'Neill/Samurai (very appropriate considering the little needles on those white paws)/Harkness). All cats in the household are named after SFF characters. "Jack" may seem ordinary, but he's named after many characters we like.

I swear he's part ragdoll:

 

Dargo is not BFFs with Jack, but tolerates him. When Jack plays, he gives Dargo a run for his money. Jack is pretty fierce and very bold, much more so than Dargo. Serves Dargo right for all the times he's been rough while playing with Suki >:)

 

I'm not sure if you can tell, but jack is the prettiest brown tabby with tuxedo markings.

Jack has been with us for a month, has been neutered, and goes in for his final set of kitten shots this week. Litterbox training him was never an issue. Barn-to-house cat was the most natural transition for him. And he was well socialized with humans and other cats so much that he's very loving to the point that I know when it's time to get up in the morning by the cold wet nose and face full of fur shoved into my cheek.

Inventing recipes...Squash

So, I can't have tomatoes, or pasta, or pizza for that matter. What can I eat when I can't have most grains or nightshades? Squash!

Squash spaghetti

I have had "spaghetti" zucchini as meals before. I love zucchini, and you don't even have to cook to enjoy it. Just shred lengthwise and you're done in seconds.

The sauce I thought up on my own. It is a different kind of squash, a sweet squash. I think it was butternut squash. I can't remember because I had cooked it a few months ago and cut it up into individual serving pieces, bagged it, and froze it. I took out one of the larger pieces, thawed it in the microwave, and pureed it in my Ninja with a little water. I then dumped it into a small saucepan with a tiny bit of butter (for the flavor only), a little extra virgin olive oil (for the flavor), and some coconut oil. I then Ninja'd a leaf of savoy cabbage, a little bit of green onion, and a medium clove of garlic with some water and dumped that into the saucepan. I got that all simmering then added some dried basil and fresh oregano and some fresh onion. I simmered off some of the water to thicken it and blend the flavors. It didn't take long. The sauce was literally awesome-sauce in my opinion. I had enough for this serving with just enough extra for lunch tomorrow. The sauce would be good with other pairings too.

The white pat is goat cheese. I love goat cheese! A little with each bite added the perfect flavor. I debated just putting it into the sauce but didn't know how that would turn out, but on the side was perfect. Chevre makes a nice condiment or base in recipes, especially when you're trying to avoid certain dairy proteins.

I've had a little reaction but nothing major. It's not the squash or the ingredients (maybe the cabbage--goitrogens can cause problems for me), but it's not unusual for all food to cause a slight problem; it's more troublesome that even sipping water makes my neck hurt sometimes. I just live with the fact that my thyroid doesn't like anything I do anymore and eat as healthy as I can.

ps--this is quite filling!